Mummy Confessions: Entry 10

Diary entry No. 10 of a stressed-out mum dealing with 4 kids. What it’s like and how it feels to deal with them all at once! Read all about it here!

It’s been one of those weeks where it’s been full-on and i’ve been feeling completely stressed out with everything – mostly the children to be honest.

It started when Faith decided to pretend she was unwell so that she could get time off school, despite being her last week before she was to break up. After her behaviour on Tuesday it proved she wasn’t unwell at all. I spent the day being cross, especially when Wyatt returned home. They just couldn’t get on and thought it would be the best time to wind Mummy up.

I decided that she could spend the day at her Dad’s yesterday whilst I got everything I needed to get done, done. Morning came around and already the pair of them were arguing. I didn’t sleep too well the night before either so I wasn’t wishing to tell them off at 7am in the morning – I felt exhausted.

I got all the kids ready to get Wyatt to school and Faith to her dads. Aurora also had a taster session at playgroup too that morning. After sorting out the chaos, we were finally ready to leave when all of a sudden Liam called me into Wyatts room.

Liam held up Wyatts cup to my nose to sniff.

“What does that smell like to you?” He asked.

Wyatt went for a wee in his cup! Yeah you heard me right!

I asked him the reason and he replied back,

“I don’t know.”

I wasn’t amused to say the least but I just didn’t know what to do. I was in complete and utter shock. I was not liking this day already. I felt like I just needed a break from the yelling and the children to have some me-time to recuperate from the stress i’ve felt all week.

The day seemed to get worse as it went on. Aurora ended up vomiting twice. The first time after lunch, she vomited in the kitchen and in the cupboard which led to a meltdown. As I cleaned it up, Aurora was yawning through her cries, so we took her for a nap hoping she’d feel better after resting. She went straight to sleep. I had a million and one things to do but just couldn’t bring myself to do them. I needed rest too!

It was nearly time to collect the children but I wasn’t ready for their bickering and complaining about each other, so instead I thought i’d ask my Mum to collect Wyatt and drop him off at his Dads til later that afternoon so I could have abit of quiet time and get the housework done. I ended up going for a nap myself and got woken up to Aurora vomiting again in her bedroom this time.

As Liam cleaned up the vomit off the floor, I changed her bed and got her cleaned up too. More washing to add to my endless list of cleaning I had yet to complete.

Did I feel guilty for palming the oldest two off with their Dad? Maybe a little but I was just feeling overwhelmed with what was put on my plate yesterday and I just couldn’t deal with them all driving me crazy.

I must admit the nap helped. I felt much better for it and managed to get all the housework done without stressing about it all or having to start and stop because of the kids arguing over the tele and other things.

As much as I enjoy being a Mummy, I still need a break occasionally to either catch up on sleep or just be me for a little while. Today, well I feel like I can take on the world and don’t feel much stress at all.

Being a Mum definitely has its ups and downs. Yesterday was a down day but I got back up again to continue with the chaos we call our Mini Zoo.

Thank you for reading my post!


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A Sick Faith & The 48-Hour Policy

Having a poorly Faith meant time off school, and just before the school holidays too. Is she really poorly? and will we catch a break before the holidays? Find this out and more here!

Faith was poorly yesterday complaining of belly ache and feeling sick.

We kept her off as a precaution but within half an hour of school starting, she was back to her usual self – feeling fine and driving me crackers. She didn’t seem poorly to me so she was definitely going to school the next day.

Morning came around and she seemed back to her usual self. She was up early, had her breakfast and was arguing with her brother like she does every morning.

We just got home after the school run when Liam received a phone call – a lady asking for me. As he passed me the phone I recognised the lady’s voice straight away. It was the receptionist from the school. Apparently Faith had been sick and had to be sent home despite seeming perfectly fine that morning. I think she just over ate or just didn’t want to be in school again, as she was perfectly fine again once she arrived back at home and had been playing with Aurora in her room.

The receptionist mentioned that there is a 48 hour policy meaning that Faith won’t be allowed back in school until Friday – they break up for the summer holidays for 7 weeks that day. It’s going to be a fun week. I’m already extremely stressed out with everything that needs to be done this week.

Aurora was to have a taster session at playgroup, so I had to get somebody to watch Faith so that we could take her as we already had to cancel her first appointment because of Faith being off on the Monday.

I think having the 48 hour policy in place is important if the children has genuinely got a stomach bug but I think they should also take the parents opinions into consideration about their children and whether they are just pulling a sicky or not.

I know Faith and I know she’s not genuinely feeling poorly. She’s being her usual hyperactive self wanting to snack on food all day. She’s going to miss school for 2 more days for no reason at all. I wouldn’t mind so much if she was actually feeling unwell.

I’ve decided that I’m going to attempt an early night tonight and get some well deserved quality time with the Mr. At the moment we’re just constantly busy being parents and not having enough time together to be a couple. I think it’s about time we spent some time together just me and him to relax instead of focussing on other stressful things.

Wish me luck! It’s going to be a busy week ahead, or should I say a busy 7 weeks for that matter!

Thank you for taking the time to read my post!


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Leaving the Nest: Holding on Too Tight

There comes a time when your child grows old enough to leave the nest, but instead of allowing them to fly free, you hold on to them for dear life. I talk about what it can be like if you do tend to hold on to them rather than letting them become independent, and what consequences may come of this. Read more about it here!

Do you remember when you were younger thinking about growing up, getting married to your prince charming, buying your own house, having little mini people running around that are just like you or your partner or even a mix of you both – the ultimate fairy tale?

Then as you get older you may have your prince charming after kissing a few frogs of course and get those beautiful children that you’ve always wanted, and then parenthood hits you. The feeling of unimaginable love that can’t be explained to the shattering stress and worry that follows as you watch them grow knowing that the years are short and they rely on you less and less. There’s nothing you can do to change it. I think that’s the hardest part of being a parent – having to let go bit-by-bit to let them blossom into their own person.

Even though they will always need us, it’ll be in a different way from when they were younger and it’s a hard thought to get your head around, having to let a piece of your heart go and live their own lives – it’s a pretty daunting feeling.

I haven’t experienced this just yet but I do feel it. I look at Faith and think wow, just wow. She’s not so little anymore and I think you tend to forget. You forget while dealing with other dramas in life. Raising your children, within a blink of an eye they are not babies anymore. They are slowly becoming adults and day-by-day the cuddles decrease and their attitude develops. They want to hang around with their friends more and stay out, and as a parent we have to let them flourish, but it’s extremely hard to just watch them go.

My children are still young but I must admit despite being proud to watch them grow into who they are supposed to be, the thought of them flying the nest scares the crap out of me! Being a Mum is all i’ve known since I was 18 years old and even though that role as a Mother doesn’t disappear, the change is considerably big. I guess it’s the fear of the unknown – what do you do with yourself when your children are all grown up.

I guess you feel some sort of loss in a way, the loss of the younger years that seem to have flown by.

As a parent you want to hold on tight to your children and not let go but there comes a time, no matter how hard it is to take a step back and let them learn the way of the world, let them make mistakes, fall in love and even go through heartbreaks themselves. As much as we would love to protect our children even when they are grown, we can’t. All we can do is be there to pick up the pieces afterwards.

I think as a parent taking that step back lets your children gain their independence and confidence. Lets them learn that they have to work hard for what they want in life. Holding on too tight can make the child become dependent, even as an adult and lack confidence, even though it may feel good for the parent to still have that bond and the mothering roll to play.

In my opinion it’s a selfish thing to do and can cause a lot of upset and animosity between the Son/ Daughter and the parent. If the Son/ Daughter wants to hang out with their friends more or decides to move away, the parent could feel pushed out and lonely.

I never thought when I first had a child I would need to think about all of this and how much worry I would feel watching them grow. It’s not just teaching right from wrongs, the tantrums, the proud moments – it’s the constant mixed emotions you feel overrun by the type that leaves a lump in your throat.

Being a parent is the hardest but most rewarding job in the world and even though the kids have driven me to having a glass of wine mid-afternoon today,  I love them unconditionally and I’m proud to be their mummy!

They have helped me become the person I am today and without them I’d be lost. When it comes to a time that I have to let them go, it will probably tear me apart. I just have to believe in them to find their own way in life and be there whenever they need me.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post!


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Friday the 13th & Superstition

A day of superstition and ‘bad’ luck – Friday the 13th has emerged once again and it’s been keeping us on our toes. Friday the 13th & superstition is today’s topic. Read about it here!

It’s finally arrived – the dreaded Friday the 13th! The day of bad luck or good luck, which ever way you look at it.

Just a quick post today guys, I don’t feel particularly lucky today…

Growing up, my Dad was always superstitious about Friday the 13th and many other things like walking under a ladder, crossing on the stairs, mirrors smashing, but the major one was always Friday the 13th. He wouldn’t leave the house on this day and refused to drive his car because he’d always worry something would go wrong.

Since i’ve gotten older I wouldn’t say I am very superstitious anymore but growing up, my Dads beliefs were also mine. I remember well avoiding to walk under ladders, and letting people pass on the stairs before I climbed them. It was just something we always did in our household. We all got used to the idea of being superstitious about things.

Now I honestly don’t believe that one day is programmed to give anyone bad luck. I think if you are going to get any luck whether good or bad, it’s usually random when it happens – the fate of the universe determines a balance of both good and bad luck throughout.

I would like to hear whether you have any superstitions?

Do you believe Friday the 13th gives you a day of bad or good luck?

Do you have any stories you wish to share of good or bad luck you’ve received on Friday the 13th?


Thank you for taking the time to read my post!


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Faith’s First Disco

The lights dimmed, the faint sound of music arose and she danced the night away. It was Faiths first disco at school! A milestone in any parents life knowing that there little babies have all grown up. Read about how the disco went & more here!

This afternoon was the most hectic it has been in a while. Faith had her school disco to attend so we were rushing around like headless chickens and we were out of whack with our routine, which Kiiara felt the most.

I made sure I got as much done as possible throughout the day so I wouldn’t end up having to do it all when the kids were in bed. I like my time of a night that’s kid-free, if I stay awake that is.

It hit the time to get the gremlins I call my children from school. Wyatt came out in his usual grumpy mood because Aurora had his toy dog which he’s had since he was a baby. He wanted it back. I told him that she would give it him back in a minute but he wasn’t having any of it and ended up having a meltdown.

On the way home even though Wyatt got his dog back, he was still not in the best of moods and accidentally bumped into Liam and the pram. As Liam said,

“Be careful buddy”

Wyatt out of nowhere answered back,

“You should walk quicker then!”

His behaviour has been hard to contend with lately. Sometimes I just get stuck at what to do with him. We decided to send him to his biological Dads place for an hour or so, just him to get his Dad to speak to him one-to-one and hopefully make him realise he can’t behave the way he does.

Prepping for Faiths Disco

After we dropped him off we rushed home to get Faith changed and all dressed up for her disco. She chose to wear a little blue dress. I put her hair in a ponytail, did her make-up and put some of my perfume on her. She even painted her nails! It’s very rare that I do her make-up with her being so young but when it’s a special occasion, I tend to let her wear it.

It was a special Mummy and Daughter moment. I forget that’s she’s slowly turning into a little lady – she’s not so little anymore. She even took her little handbag with her!


We were only home half an hour before we had to lug the prams back down the stairs to get her to the disco. Kiiara was a little cranky because she usually has her baby jar at 4pm but we had to head back out again so she was a little late for it.

We dropped her off. She got given a packet of crisps and a drink before she went in to dance the afternoon away. Liam and I popped to the shops to get some bits – we always seem to run out of something especially with 4 children!

When we finally got home, Faiths disco was supposed to be finishing in less than 25 minutes and I had Kiiara to feed and Liam needed to start the dinner. I rang my Mum earlier that day to ask whether she would mind picking Faith up but received a text  afterwards saying she was running late and couldn’t get there on time.

I had to ring Liam’s sister Lisa to see whether she could collect her instead. We had so much to do and not enough time to do it in! Thankfully Lisa said she didn’t mind collecting her. I rang my Mum back and let her know that i’d sorted it and that Wyatt needed picking up from his Dad’s at 6pm.

Arriving back from the Disco

Faith finally arrived back home and she stomped in like a teenager. I asked her how her dance went and she turned around, threw her handbag on the floor and uttered,

“It was absolutely terrible!”

I later found out that she was annoyed, not because of the dance, but because she wanted to go to her Aunty Lisa’s house. She actually enjoyed her dance even though she said she fell over a few times, but overall she had a fun time – she was even kissing a boy. My little girl is not so little anymore.

Wyatt arrived home not long after. He didn’t say much when he got back but just went into the front room. When we finished our dinner and it was time to get them all bathed and ready for bed, I heard him in the front room talking to Aurora asking her,

“Did you miss me? I was at my Dads. I missed you.”

As he spotted me looking, he smiled. I’m hoping that with him being sent to his Dad’s on his own giving him time to miss his sisters and us, his behaviour might improve. A Mum can only hope.

They are all now settled in bed and i’m enjoying the peace and quiet with a good book before the madness begins again tomorrow.


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Summer Holidays Fast Approaching

With the summer holidays right around the corner, planning things to do with the kids beforehand is a MUST. When you don’t, or if things don’t go to plan, it can lead to a lot of stress and headache. I talk about what it’s like on a summer break with the kids and what we’ve got planned so far. Read more about it here!

We all know the excitement of having the children break up from school for their summer holiday interval for 7 weeks.

The excitement and ideas of family time especially if the weather holds up. Then the dread kicks in. 7 WHOLE weeks with your kids! Now don’t get me wrong, we all love our children but 7 weeks of bickering with their siblings, 7 weeks of “I’m bored”, 7 weeks of spending a fortune on days-out and having to find things to do everyday so they don’t get grumpy, 7 weeks of a yelling “Mum!”. And don’t start me on the mess and stress they’re going to cause too!

You see I always have these ideas about what we can do with the children while they are off school. We have a few things planned already but that covers perhaps 3 days out of the entire 7 weeks. We don’t have a big enough car to fit all of the children in at the moment, so we can’t go to far unless we use public transport. The organisation before we even leave the house is a whole different kettle of fish.

I am looking forward to be able to spend time with my babies. I’m quite a fun Mum when I want to be. I do love winding them up. They may not always find it funny but Mummy enjoys herself. That’s what you have kids for right. Payback for all the times they have driven you crazy!

So with only 10 days left at school, i’m sat thinking what the hell I am supposed to do to keep them entertained for soooo long? So far we’ve got the Zoo (generally where they belong), the beach and the paddling pool (all of which are weather dependant). They seem to get bored easily and within 3 weeks of being off, they miss their friends and want to go back to school.

This is my first summer holiday that i’ll have 4 at home as well so i’m quite nervous about it all. Last time there were only 3 and that was stressful enough but we did have the car back then to take them places too.

I’m guessing we will be spending a lot of time down the beach scoffing ice cream. Sounds like a plan to me! I may even be able to catch a tan and not look like half a milk bottle.

I’m looking forward to being able to make fun memories with the kids but after today and the way they have decided to wind me up, I’m also not looking forward to it. Even so with them not giving Mummy a break to get things done in the 6 hours they are usually at school.

Let the madness commence!


  • How are you all feeling about the summer holidays? Have you got anything fun planned, a holiday perhaps?


  • If your children are on their holidays already, how have you coped? Are they complaining they’re bored yet?


  • What are your plans for entertaining them/ what have you done to entertain them?


I’d love to hear from you all! I’m sending lots of love and strength through these long 7 weeks. Thank you for reading my post and wish me luck. I will hopefully survive the little terrors day-by-day!


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Medication for Autism?

Is there medication for such things like Autism? Do they work? I seek to understand and find out more about it in today’s post. Check it out now!

I came across a post recently about Autism and treating children who have it with medication to help them with a better quality of life or simply calm them down when nothing works otherwise.

As I was reading this post, I came across varied opinions on the matter. Positive ones and also negative ones – this included how it’s helped their child fit in with school. Then there are other people who say that we shouldn’t medicate it because it’s not an illness and we should accept the child just the way they are.

There are also theories that immunisations are what causes Autism in children. What do you think?

In my opinion I believe that some children are just born that way. The brain is wired differently and I believe that it can be passed down in DNA which makes it more likely for a child who has a parent with learning difficulties (or even if it just runs in the family) for it to be passed down to them too.

With medicating, i’m not too sure how I feel about it but that could be because I don’t usually take medication unless it’s absolutely necessary to. I think i’d have to thoroughly research the medication first before I considered using it with Wyatt (If you haven’t been following, you can read about Wyatt and his suspected Autism here first).

-I’d need to know the side effects.

-What the medication actually does to help.

-And if there are any long-lasting effects after using the medication.

I’m not too sure what’s going to happen with Wyatt at the moment whether they will offer medication or just advise me on some techniques to deal with his behaviour. We’re still waiting for a letter in the post to see a community pediatrician to discuss with them about his difficulties, and then hopefully we will know more.

It seems like the process is taking forever but all we can do is wait it out. We’ve had to put some measures in place to stop him from helping himself to food in the middle of the night, especially after last week when he climbed onto the kitchen side, reached for a the top shelf and helped himself to cereal.

I wasn’t happy at all because…

1. The cereal is right on top of the cabinet and he could of fallen and broke his arm or neck for that matter, and

2. It was around 5:30 in the morning and should have been asleep.

We’ve now put a lock on the kitchen door to stop him from munching, climbing and putting himself into dangerous situations.


Going back to medication, I would love to hear your opinions on the matter. Is your child on medication for Autism? Does it help? Do you have any techniques for dealing with their behaviour? Please let us know below!

Thank you for reading my post!


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Reliving the Moment of a Heartbreaking Loss – Anniversary of my Dad’s Passing

The anniversary of my dad’s passing approaches and I continue to reminisce of the good-old days when he was still around. Losing him has been hard this first year without him. Read about how I’ve dealt with it and more here!

It is slowly approaching the 7th of July, which is an emotional day for Me and my family. It will be a year since my Daddy passed away.

I still remember that day like it was yesterday. The dreaded phone call I received in the morning to tell me that I needed to go see my Dad quickly because he was struggling to breath and wasn’t going to survive much longer (if you haven’t already read my detailed post about it, check it out first here).

The panic I felt contacting Liam to take me there as soon as possible too. Arriving too late to say my goodbyes, seeing my Mum fall apart before my eyes, and having took me to see my Dad just lying there motionless on his bed. It still feels so raw even though it’s been a year since he left us.

I honestly can’t believe it’s been a year already. I know my Dad would want me to continue living my life without it getting me down but I can’t say it hasn’t. A years past since he’s been a complete numpty and made me giggle. A year since i’ve received texts or a phone calls telling me he loves me. A year since I heard his voice and inappropriate jokes. A year too long to be without my Dad.

You see my Dad and I were close. He was always the person i’d turn to if I felt down, and even in my 20s I still went and had a cuddle with him. It would feel just that little bit better and even if he didn’t say much, we’d just watch his soap opera’s and would express how some of the characters drove him crackers and how he’d know exactly what was going to happen in the storyline. He was right most of the time and had to point it out with “What did I tell you?”.

Losing my dad was not something i’d ever thought would happen. It was just one of those things. I thought he’d be around forever. Logically I know that’s not possible but you get the jist.

I remember saying to him just a week before he died that he’s got to stick around until Liam and I get married.

He replied back,

“I ain’t going to live till i’m 90 Zo.” (He was 71).

He definitely had a great sense of humour and was extremely outspoken which was a trait I loved about him. His honesty always got people laughing but also sometimes it too pissed people off. He was definitely a one-of-a-kind, my old Dad.

I’m grateful i’ve got the memories I have of my childhood growing up. They were good times but I also miss the memories we could have made. I was pregnant with Kiiara when my Dad became sick but he passed away before we could tell him what we were having. Our scan was 10 days after he died. He didn’t get chance to meet her either, which completely broke my heart.

I don’t think grief ever goes away – you just keep on going because you have to. I keep going for my children and Liam but I still have my bad days where I wish I could just see him one last time or just hear his voice for a little while. I find anniversaries, birthdays and Father’s day the hardest. It’s just knowing they can’t be there when you really want them to be.

For him not being able to see his grandchildren grow up is another major factor that I really struggle with. He’s not going to be around for birthdays. All i’ve got is stories to tell of the crazy old man that was Mummys hero.

I miss him, I really do and there isn’t one day that goes by that I don’t think about him. I just try and hold on to the memories I have of him from just a few weeks before he passed away where he still remained upbeat as much as he could.


This post is a tribute to my beloved Dad. We miss you so much and will love you forever. You will never be forgotten!


R.I.P John Warren 07/07/2017


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Mummy Confessions: Entry 9

Diary entry No. 9 of a stressed-out mum dealing with 4 kids. What it’s like and how it feels to deal with them all at once!

Do you ever have those days where you could quite happily scream just to get your frustrations out? I had one of those days yesterday.

I heard Wyatt wake up at his usual time around 6am and as I pulled myself out of bed and headed downstairs for my shower, I noticed he closed the living room door (He only ever does this if he’s trying to hide something). I went into the living room and he looked at me guilty-as-sin.

I uttered to him,

“What have you had to eat?”

He replied,

“Cheese strings”

I’ve told him countless times that he needs to stop munching on things before his breakfast – it doesn’t ever sink in.

As I did the usual morning routine of getting the children ready for school, everything seemed to be going quite smoothly. Faith was behaving – she even tidied her room and made her bed before school. Aurora seemed to be in a good mood as well – she even let me put her hair in a bobble and put a bow in too. She looked absolutely adorable in her little orange summer dress and sandals.

She decided she wanted to walk home but she ended up tripping over and hurting her knee. She got upset for a minute or so but still wanted to continue walking home. When we finally arrived back (it takes so much longer with a walking toddler), she wanted to sit and watch the famous ‘Waffle the Wonder Dog’ so we settled down while I fed Kiiara.

Then out of the blue she said


I looked at her and replied

“Aww. Have you got a poppo?”

She replied back with

“Kiss it better”.

I got a little emotional at this. She’s just adorable and so girlie!

As the day progressed things just seemed to take a turn for the worse. Aurora turned into a little demon child and was getting upset over everything, and oh boy the tantrums! I have never seen her this bad before.

She was definitely overtired and hot and bothered because of the weather but she point-blank refused to sleep. Instead she screamed and screamed and lashed out at me when I was trying to change her nappy. Don’t get me started on bathtime. That’s a major battle in itself. Arghhh and breath.

I had to pop out and get some bits and bobs from the shop. Liam was busy and because of all the stairs there was no way I was getting down them with 2 prams on my own so I had to contact my Mum to come and help me. In the end I only took Kiiara in her pram and Aurora went on her reins.

While waiting for my Mum to show up Kiiara was crying because she was tired and Aurora was screaming too. I had a whole lot of washing and cleaning to do and I hadn’t managed to do anything apart from sort the girls out.

When my Mum and Sister arrived, Aurora finally calmed down for a little while. I managed to put my wash on with Kiiara glued to my hip. We were about to leave, when all of a sudden, being a typical baby Kiiara decided to have a last minute poo. Just my luck. In just under 2 hours we had to pick Faith and Wyatt up from school and I wasn’t getting anywhere fast.

I managed to get my bits and bobs done and was making my way home. Auroras mood changed again. She become majorly stroppy and wouldn’t have any of it. She screamed and threw herself on the floor. We were in the flat at this point. Kiiara was flat out. I wasn’t sure how long for with Aurora bellowing like a banshee. I remained calm, took her into the front room while she was flailing around, lay her on the sofa, put ‘Waffle the Wonder Dog’ on and got her a milk hoping she would get sleepy and wake up in a happier mood. That was wishful thinking. She wasn’t having any of it and she woke Kiiara up. It was Kiiara’s turn to scream.

I didn’t know where the time went. All i’d done was the washing from that morning and it was already time to collect the children from school. Aurora was still screaming wanting to get out of her pram this time. Wyatt came out of school crying at me because I said he had to wait for the money off the tooth fairy until we got down to the stall that he wanted to spend it at.

He began to cry so I had 3 grumpy crying children on my hands all at the same time. Breath Zoe breath. Last but not least Faith appeared but she seemed in an OK mood. Off we went to get candy floss!

Oh no things didn’t go too smoothly after all. Faith decided she didn’t want candy floss but sweets instead. I was in a rush so I didn’t have time to pop into any other shops. She told the lady who was selling the candy floss that she didn’t actually want any but ‘Mum’ was making her get it. The lady just looked at me. I had to remind Faith not to be rude.

She then stropped all the way home while seemingly enjoying the candy floss she ‘didn’t’ want. But obviously what consequences comes with sugary snacks? I will tell you…. Hyperactivity as soon as we set foot into the flat. They became hyperactive and wasn’t listening to a word I said no matter how many times I repeated myself – they were bouncing off the walls. I was overrun by 4 children, 3 of which were on a sugar high!

I ended up yelling at them to calm down because somebody was going to get hurt.

1…. 2….. 3…..

Right on queue all 3 of them bumped into each other and Aurora being the smallest got hurt the most and ended up screaming again. It was only 4pm and I was praying for bedtime already.

Within the next hour I became a broken record having to repeat myself over and over again to either calm down or stop doing something they shouldn’t be doing. They calmed down, well 2 out of 3 anyway.

It was Wyatt’s turn to keep pushing my buttons. He kept throwing things around the living room while looking at me and smiling. I told him that he needed to listen to me, and because of his behaviour he had lost his pudding for that night. He turned around and shouted at me giving me attitude. I know it’s part of his Autism but I still don’t appreciate him shouting at me like he does.

I warned him that he shouldn’t speak to me the way he did because you should never shout at your Mum and Dad for that matter. He still ended up yelling at me again and sniggering. I was not amused to say the least.

It was slowly creeping up to bed time. All 4 children had been bathed. It was just a little hard to get them to stay in their rooms. It’s either one or the other that decide they either want a drink, the toilet, to tell us a story or to just ask a random question they could of asked earlier.

I must admit after how yesterday was, I was glad to just crawl into bed, cuddle Kiiara and relax – well as much as you can when you’re a parent anyhow.

Some days I find harder than others and lately I haven’t really had that many bad days where the children have driven me crazy, so I guess I was just overdue one.

Joys of children ayy. Definitely worth it but they also make you age much quicker. I can see the grey hairs emerging already.


Thank you for reading my post!


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Wyatt’s First Visit From The Tooth Fairy

We were all kids once. Stories of magical beings helped us through our childhood and made it extra special. Wyatt had a visit from the Tooth Fairy yesterday for the VERY first time. Find out what happened & how he reacted to it here!

Do you remember a time when we were children and our parents would make up little stories to make our childhood feel magical, such as the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and even Santa Claus?

I remember it well and i’ve carried on the tradition with my children. Even at 8 years old Faith still believes in them all and I plan to keep her believing for as long as I can. It’s the innocence of it which makes it magical and the excitement on their faces while they anticipate it.

Wyatt lost his tooth at school yesterday. Even though it’s not the first tooth he’s lost, it’s the first time he’s had a visit from the Tooth Fairy (he misplaced his first one). He came out of school with his tooth wrapped in a paper towel ready to put under his pillow, but when walking half way home Wyatt being Wyatt wanted to carry his tooth in his hand despite telling him he might lose it. He was adamant that he wouldn’t and decided to unwrap it out of his paper towel and put the tooth in his pocket.

He carried his tooth with him all day and managed not to lose it until just before bed time. Luckily enough we managed to spot it and even though he wasn’t amused, I put it somewhere safe so he didn’t lose it again.

When it was finally time to go to bed after the hectic bedtime routine, Wyatt began to get excited about having a visit from the Tooth Fairy for the very first time and I enjoyed telling him what the fairy looked like, that he had to make sure he slept because fairies get shy, and what she does to collect teeth. His little eyes lit up and of course I got emotional seeing the wonder of it all in his eyes.

I think he slept better than he has for a while last night, which of course i’m glad of. I didn’t want to get caught putting some money under his pillow.

The morning came and he didn’t mention anything about the Tooth Fairy and whether she showed up until I mentioned it.

All I got was,

“Yeah she gave me this.”

I don’t think he was too sure about what it was for but I told him he can get some candy floss with it after school. He soon had a smile on his face which is very rare when it comes to Wyatt, especially in the mornings when he’s usually very grumpy.

Having these little stories that we put in place for our children keeps that little bit of excitement from our childhood back inside ourselves, making life magical for our little ones too.


I’d love to hear your stories of how your little ones reacted to the Tooth Fairies first visit and how you made it magical for them!

Do you think there should be a certain age that they should be told the truth by? Or do you wish to let your children believe for as long as they can?


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Feeling Comfortable in Your Own Skin

You tend to be quite comfortable with the way your body is, but when somebody points out flaws, it can certainly makes you feel uncomfortable. I talk this and more here. Check it out now!

Growing up, i’ve always been on the petite side. I even got quite envious of the curvy girls because I just couldn’t seem to put on any weight no matter how hard I tried!

It’s like I just hit 14 and remained roughly the same weight until the age I am now and I will probably always be the same. The only time I seemed to gain any was when I was pregnant. Within 2 weeks of giving birth however, I went back to my same-old petite self.

It’s just who I am and it runs in my family. We’re all a little on the short and skinny side. Over the years I felt unattractive because of my weight and the way I looked. Friends seemed to be filling out and getting bigger and I just seemed to remain the same. In school because of how I felt about myself, i’d make sure i’d always get changed for P.E (Physical education) away from everybody else just incase I got judged and laughed at.

After a few years or so I finally realised that I wasn’t going to be able to change it and the only thing I could do was embrace it instead. Which leaves me with the way I am now. I love my food but I still don’t gain the weight. I’m ok with that now, it’s just the way I was intended to be.

A few years ago when I was pregnant with Wyatt I had to go to see a consultant. I was classed as high risk because he was apparently too big for me (even though Aurora was bigger).

When I arrived I remember the consultant giving me an ear-full about having an eating disorder and making sure I ate because I had a low BMI (Body mass index). I tried explaining to her that I do eat quite a lot and I didn’t have an eating disorder – it’s just in my DNA. She got on my nerves because she wouldn’t have any of it. She even spouted that I would put Wyatt at risk and that I needed to think of the baby growing inside me.

He was on the larger side, but there’s nothing more I could do than what I was doing to put on weight. I left that appointment feeling terrible. I battled with myself for years trying to get my weight up and instead got judged and made to feel awful. Obviously as my pregnancy progressed my BMI went up and so did my weight but after he was born I went back to a lower BMI and lost all my baby weight again.

Just the other day it happened to me again. I had a routine contraception review to check whether the contraception i’m on suits me, to check my blood pressure, and to check my weight and height before they prescribed me my next 3 months worth.

As I went into the nurses office she asked me whether I experienced any side effects and whether I felt ok being on the one i’m on, to which I replied “yes”. After taking my height and weight she calculated my BMI and it came back at 17.5 which makes me underweight apparently.

I sat and thought “here we go again”. She gave me a telling off uttering that I needed to make sure I eat bread, fruit, cereals, vegetables, meat and so on which I get plenty of, so I replied back “I do eat them. It’s just i’ve always been this way.” I even told her I breastfeed which of course she had to tell me that I needed to make sure I get a lot of protein and carbohydrates – of course I knew this already too.

Kiiara seems to be a healthy weight and Aurora was too when I breastfed her when she was younger. I felt like I was speaking to a brick wall. She just kept shutting me down when I was speaking. I guess she probably thought I was trying to make excuses. She even informed me that because I smoke, my BMI was low and being on contraception, i’m going to be at risk from osteoporosis when i’m older. Great, thanks for that!

I felt depleted when leaving the nurses office and a little annoyed too. As much as I try I feel like i’m being body shamed. People are unique. We all come in different shapes and sizes and it’s a horrible feeling when people judge you for how you look. Whether you are curvy, skinny, short or tall, I think we should all embrace our uniqueness. These are the little things that make us who we are!

I’ve learnt over the years to just accept my size and try not to let anybody get to me if they talk behind my back or just simply to my face when it comes to medical staff. I like the way I am. It may have taken me a few years or so to get to that point i’m at now but i’ve got there eventually.


I’d love to hear some stories whether you have ever been body shamed? If you had insecurities and how you’ve overcome them?


Just remember girls you’re all beautiful just the way you are!


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UK Armed Forces Day & Ants in my Pants

As it was UK Armed Forces day over the weekend, we decided to take a look. Air displays, marching bands, a chinook helicopter, food stalls, flight simulators, a Royal & Prime guest, & much much more were present. Read all about it here!

It was UK Armed Forces Day on Saturday, so we decided to take a trip to Llandudno to go and see what all the excitement was about.It was estimated to be at least 100,000 people attending the event and the Prime Minister was in attendance too.

When we arrived, Llandudno was jam-packed with people. I’ve never seen the place so busy despite being a popular holiday resort. There were parades going on, a lot of military presence, and even a chinook was stationary on a field for people to take a look inside – Liam was one of those people of course. He loves helicopters and planes. It’s been passed down from his Dad to him and now Aurora too. She absolutely loves them! However a few times before now she has called them boats.

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The Royal Lancaster escorted by Spitfires

The Red Arrows display team were doing an air display as well to showcase their skills. It was pretty amazing to see the coloured smoke and the tricks they were doing. The look on Auroras face was priceless and Liam’s too. It’s nice to see them share something in common and get excited about it together.

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After the Red Arrows finished, the Typhoon came on shortly after doing tricks too but it was definitely much louder than the Red Arrows. Aurora didn’t like the noise of it too much. We had to cover her ears because she got really upset. It could of been a combination of things though such as the sun, already being tired, and the noisy plane as well.

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The Typhoon

We heard cheers behind us as we saw unmarked police cars and police on  motorbikes. The Prime Minister was in one of those cars. She briefly appeared showing support for Armed Forces day before she took off back home in a private helicopter. I wouldn’t say i’m a big fan of her to be honest but some people seemed happy to see her there.

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Prime Minister Theresa May getting into a car

There was much more festivities going on from food stalls, fairground rides and even a tank full of water with a scuba diver inside. Two men above it were spraying people with water guns as they passed to keep people cool. It was scorching hot over the weekend so it was nice to get out of routine and enjoy the sunshine.

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We thought we’d head to McDonald’s to get some lunch because I was starting to get ‘hangry’ (Angry because I was hungry). I don’t do well being hot and hungry – I get my grumpy Mama on.

It was extremely busy everywhere. They ended up turning the drive-through to a walk-through so they could keep up with the customers. We found ourselves sat next to a tree on the grass to settle down and eat our lunch until I ended up with ants in my pants, and I don’t mean the term we use for fidgeting children, I mean actual ants in my pants! (literally speaking). It is not the nicest feeling getting nibbled by tiny creatures. As I was itching and smacking my legs to stop them biting me, I may have looked just a little bit crazy doing it, but that’s nothing unusual at all.

We popped into a few shops before we headed back to the festivities of the day. This Mama needed wine. I picked out a cherry sparkling rose. I couldn’t wait to get back and enjoy a glass of wine. Having been out 6 hours in the sun, I needed something refreshing.

Just before we went to ride the bus back home, we came across a plane that had paratroopers jumping out of it. It was the RAF Falcons! They also released different coloured smoke making patterns in the sky until they finally landed into the field with many people surrounding them. Everyone clapped and cheered.


The atmosphere of Llandudno that day was buzzing. People were happy and enjoying themselves with family and friends, and this is the reason I love North Wales. I guess it’s just in the heart of me with it’s beautiful views and feeling like being home where I belong.

We finally arrived home after a knackering but fun day with awful sunburn (not the girls of course) and our usual bits and bobs we get on the weekends. I thought that I would help myself to a glass of wine after such a long day. This didn’t go to plan. As it was hot and had been bouncing around under the pram for an hour or so, as I opened it, the whole thing exploded on me and went everywhere. It even reached the ceiling! Perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea after all. I ended up choosing a cold pepsi instead.

Over all we had a great day. It’s great to make family memories we can cherish especially as the children grow older, we can look back on the pictures together and show them all the things they did when they were younger.

How’s the weather where you are? Did you do anything fun this weekend? I’d love to hear what you have been up to and whether you had any mishaps happen!


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Getting Sporty: Part 2 – Faiths Sports Day

As the sun continues to shine, it was Faiths turn to compete in her sports day. Races, long jumps, sack races and more. Read about what she did and how well she competed all here!

If you read our post from a couple of days ago (if not, you can read it here), it was Wyatt’s sports day on Tuesday. This time it was Faiths sports day and I was excited to see her compete in her races.

She had a long jump event on at half 10 in the morning but we couldn’t make it to that because of having to sort out the other girls, but instead turned at 1pm for the main event. I asked Auntie Lisa to take a video of Faith doing her long jump so I didn’t have to miss it entirely.

When we showed up to get seated with the other parents, we bumped into Faith coming out of school crying hysterically. The teacher apparently sent her to find her glasses and sun hat but she couldn’t find them so she thought she’d get into trouble for not having them. I managed to calm her down and get her to join back into her group ready for the fun to begin.

Faith did 3 races in total – the first one she had to do was 2 laps of the field with a group of children from the same year. The PE teacher also joined in too leading them all round.

The second race she did was a sprint in which she came first place. The smile on her face was priceless. She was so proud of herself and we were proud of her too.


After a few different year groups did their races, it came back to Faiths final race which was the sack race. Kiiara needed feeding at this point and where I was sat I couldn’t really see it but Liam managed to get some photos for me. Faith came third place and got stuck in the bean bag. She ended up losing her shoes within it which she found funny.


The sports day finally finished at around quarter past 3. I was very proud of my little mini me. She did really well and seeing the smile on her face made it all worth the sunburn that I currently have after being out in the sun for so long. 27 degrees celsius is certainly too hot for me to handle, and especially the poor children too (we’re not used to this scorching weather here in the UK so when it does emerge, we’re not prepared for it).

It was staff training day today so we are having a long weekend. Faith and Wyatt have gone to their Dads until Sunday. I’m looking forward to what the weekend has in mind for us.

I may as well enjoy the sun while we have it but I best remember the sun cream otherwise this mama is going to become a lobster by next week!


If you are in the UK right now, how are you enjoying the nice weather? Let us know in the comments section below!


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One Step Closer to a Diagnosis

Slow progress is being made, but we’ve finally started to get the ball rolling. Wyatt’s suspected autism is getting worse and worse each day, and harder to deal with. Read all about our difficulties with him and the progress that is being made for an assessment here!

As most of you know, we have been trying to get a confirmation of Wyatts autism.

It’s been a long road of ups and downs and even attempting to get a doctors appointment has been deemed difficult. It took over 3 weeks just to be seen.

I recently spoke to Wyatts speech therapist about my concerns which seemed quite easy for me to elaborate on. I think because she’s been Wyatts speech therapist on and off since he was in Nursery, I felt comfortable and confident in speaking with her, but seeing the doctor yesterday, despite seeming nice enough, I felt nervous speaking about his problems to a complete stranger. In the end I just gave her the list of bullet points I had written down previously with everything we have observed about him.

The doctor let me know that she will write a letter to a community pediatrician which we should then hear from them with an appointment but it could take a few weeks before we see anybody. What’s a few more weeks anyhow? I finally feel some relief that we have finally got the ball rolling. Wyatt needs extra support and if i’m honest, so do we in order to be able to learn tactics of how to deal with his unruly behaviours.

Today’s been a hard day for Wyatt and us parents from the moment he woke up this morning. He decided to go on the search for food. It was still the middle of the night. He just doesn’t seem to need sleep – well very little of it anyway. He thought he’d help himself to some crisps which are stored on the top of the fridge, a chocolate mousse and some jelly stored inside the child-locked fridge that he managed to open.

He seemed to be in a foul mood yesterday morning. It might have had something to do with telling him he couldn’t have biscuits before he went to school because he had already been on a munching spree.

That’s when the temper kicked in. He attempted to trip Faith down the stairs. He also broke Auroras princess tent the morning before, that she received for her birthday. He ripped a huge hole in the bottom. When I asked him why, he just replied

“I don’t know. I’m always angry.”

I know exactly why he’s angry. It’s because when we tell him “no” he doesn’t like it, but whether he’s got autism or not he needs to follow the rules and learn right from wrong just like his siblings have to. I may have to just try a different approach with him.

I’m hoping now that we have finally seen a doctor and have took that first step towards getting support, things will get easier because quite frankly how are you supposed to discipline a child who doesn’t understand what he’s doing is wrong? He simply changes the subject.

For example: He will randomly say “Banana” or talk about what he did at school days ago when you’re telling him off. It’s frustrating for us as well, not just Wyatt.

He did manage to earn a dojo point which he hasn’t done in a long time so he was very pleased with himself. I was very happy that he finally listened and did as he was told.

He’s not a bad kid and I love him very much but somedays are harder than others so with this next step that’s finally been taken, hopefully we can get the help and support with understanding each other better and learn some tips & tricks to manage his behaviour in the future.

I will keep you all updated on Wyatts journey. It may be a long road but we will get there eventually.

On a good note however, I managed to get a giggle out of him which is quite rare. He always seems to be the grumpy one. It’s amazing how getting some toothpaste on his nose and saying “Oops. There’s no teeth up there” can make a boy laugh so much. It was a nice Mummy and Son moment. They are very rare so I definitely cherish them when they do happen.


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Getting Sporty – Wyatt’s Sports Day

As the temperatures rise and it becomes Summer, it’s time for the kids annual sports day. Today Wyatt had his. Find out how well he did and what happened to him here!

The weather was scorching yesterday here in the United Kingdom and it was the day Wyatt had his sports day.

He was excited about being able to do some running. It’s his favourite way to burn off that crazy energy he always seems to have. He woke up at half 5 this morning. It amazes me how he doesn’t seem to need that much sleep and yet he can keep going for hours.

We showed up to sports day at around 1pm. The gates didn’t open till 1:10pm so there was a queue of parents building waiting to see their little ones win some races.

Luckily enough the school had gazebos for the children and some of the parents sat under one too, me included to avoid the heat.

Wyatts year did three races in total – a normal boys race, a bean bag race and then finally the relay race. Wyatt spotted us in the crowd waving, smiling and shouting “Mummy” and “Nana”.

As he did the first race, he seemed to just speed off. I’m not sure if he came first or not as Wyatt had lost his stickers that he won shortly after it finished.

We had to wait for the other year groups to do their races before Wyatt did his second race, which was the ‘bean bag’ race.

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I remember Faith a few years ago cheated on this race and held the bean bag all the way to the finish line. I thought Wyatt might do the same but instead he ran with one hand behind his back and had the bean bag on the bat right until just before the finishing line where it fell off. He came third. He seemed quite happy with himself.


After a few more races from the other year groups, it was time for the last race of the afternoon which was the ‘relay race’ where they had to run to the finish line and back to give a baton to another child so they could run and do the same.

Wyatt was last in his line and as he made the run, his legs buckled underneath him half way through. He looked back then burst into tears. It broke his little heart. I watched as one of the teachers picked him up and carried him to a chair and retrieved his water bottle. After a few minutes Wyatt calmed down and seemed back to his usual self, and because of the hot weather all the children got given an ice lolly when they had finished.

Overall Wyatt had a good sports day and it was nice to be able to sit out in the sun watching him enjoy himself. It was definitely a proud Mummy moment.

I’ve got it all to come again with Faiths sports day on Thursday. It is definitely going to be a busy week!


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Mental Health & Parenting

Whether you have them or whether you know someone who has them, mental health problems when you are a parent can be quite difficult to deal with. It may not affect you and your kids, but sometimes the system can see it as a problem. I talk about the difficulties when dealing with mental health problems when you have children. Read all about it here!

This topic is quite close to my heart. I delve into the darkness of suffering with mental health problems and being a parent.

I myself haven’t experienced this but a close friend of mine has. While battling with her demons she faced a difficult decision to put her children into temporary foster care to get some help herself so that she could feel better raising her children knowing that she had support behind her, but instead ended up losing her children in the process.

This friend of mine i’ve known for many years, she may have had her problems but she has always been a good Mum. She did a selfless act and realised she needed help and support with her problems but instead got punished for it.

In my eyes pushing a person who’s already struggling with themselves by no fault of their own is disgusting behaviour. How could removing the one thing that they are living for help their situation at all? It just makes it worse. They may have had concerns but they could have took better steps to support my friend which is what she had asked for.

I watched over the years how this beautiful friend of mine struggled with herself, even self harming and I just knew when she was having a bad time. It was like she changed into a completely different person. Again this was also no fault of her own as she has bipolar disorder and split personality.

After getting all the recommended help and medication, she still lost the battle to win back her children despite continuing to fight further. I understand authorities such as social services are meant to be there to protect children from harm and help families if they need it but what happens when things become corrupted, and instead of helping someone like my friend, they punish her because of a bad upbringing and place concern where it wasn’t needed.

My friend even went to court to try and get extra visitation with her children, even suggesting she have a social worker with her to put their mind at ease, but instead this was declined.

I watched as my friend broke down because she missed her children. They were her world and there was nothing she could do about it. She still sees her eldest daughter who is around the same age as Faith but only every 8 weeks. In my eyes it’s not fair on her daughter as she has been asking to see her Mum a lot more. As a child being told ‘no’ to such a casual thing, she has been retaliating quite badly because of this.

My friend also has a son who is around the same age as Wyatt but she doesn’t get to see him at all because he got adopted, which also means her daughter doesn’t get to see her brother. As you could imagine at 7 years old it can lead to a lot of frustration, upset and unanswered questions.

This is not yet the worst of my story. She had a third child, another daughter in fact but because of her mental health problems they decided that despite doing everything they told her to, like getting help and being on the correct medication (which even got lowered because she was doing so much better than previous years ), she may be at risk to her daughter and took her baby girl away at just 5 days old. Such a cruel thing to do to a person who had just given birth!

She needed support. She even suggested going to a Mother and baby unit but they declined that there and then too. I honestly believe they were out to get her, especially as she cared for her daughter for 5 days in the hospital and received great reports from the midwives how well she was coping.  Unfortunately however these didn’t get taken into consideration but instead they used her mental health assessment from 4 years previously when she was in a bad way.

She still sees her youngest but still has to wait every 8 weeks before she does and usually her visitation gets cut short because her daughter occasionally becomes unsettled and cries. She’s a baby and if you don’t let a baby see their Mum or Dad for a certain amount of time, they’re not going to know who they are and will get fussy – it’s happened plenty of times with Kiiara when she doesn’t know someone.

I think there should be extra support out there for parents with mental health problems. They shouldn’t have to suffer in silence because of worry they will have their children removed from their care. Procedures should be put into place to help families. They shouldn’t be punished for having problems that are beyond their control.

I honestly believe that removing a child or children from their parents is an unforgiving act. They are not possessions – they are human beings. It affects parents as well as the child emotionally for the rest of their lives.

It’s all about pulling together, getting support anyway possible, not just going the easy route and removing the child/children.

I understand in dire circumstances where people are neglecting or abusing their children, then action has to be taken to protect them but this post is about mental health and the unfairness of the system.

This is dedicated to all the parents out there who suffer with mental health problems. Remember you are brave, you are good parents and even on your worst days, those children love you for who you are! Having mental health problems does not make you any less of a parent.

Be proud of yourself. You are battling demons nobody knows about and you made it through the day.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.


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Allowing Your Child to Learn at Their Own Pace

When your children grow up, it’s sometimes hard to see other children ahead of your own. It’s nothing to worry about though, children learn at their own pace. Read more about this here!

As a parent you tend to read many books and articles, and even get given advice about what your child should be achieving at a certain age, beginning from when they were babies.

This includes that they should be rolling by 6 months at least, sitting up unaided by 9 months, walking by at least 14 months old, and saying 50 words or more by the age of 2.

I understand that these are basic guidelines which help you to recognise whether your child is meeting their acquired milestones for their age group but I also believe that it may put a lot of extra pressure and worry on parents if their children don’t meet their textbook milestones.

Being a Mum of four, i’ve noticed that all my children are different and they met their milestones all at different times. I wouldn’t say I worried too much about it, I just thought they would learn what they needed to at their own paces.

Faith had a good vocabulary by 2 and a half years old and she was walking by 14 months old.

Wyatt walked by 10 months old but didn’t speak until he was 2 and a half years old, and he only said the bare minimum.

If i’m honest I didn’t notice his special needs as much at this age. I just thought it was just Wyatt being Wyatt (and as he’s my only boy, I didn’t really have anyone else to compare him to at the time). I’ve only seemed to have noticed it more as he’s gotten older.

Aurora started walking by 13 months old and said a lot of words by 1 and a half. She is quite ahead in her speech for her age. She definitely amazes me with what she says sometimes. I forget that she’s only just turned 2. She spoke better than what Faith did at 2 and a half. I think it helps having constant engagement with her, teaching her new things and being around her all of the time.

I’m still waiting to see whether Kiiara will meet her milestones by a certain age. She can’t sit up unaided yet but she can say “Hiya” and “Dada” at 7 months old.

My point in this post is that all children are different. They will all learn at their own paces. We shouldn’t be made to feel worried just because it says that they should be doing this and that at a certain point in their early lives.

Just remember it’s just a textbook guideline that’s been put in place. I have noticed some time ago that some people liked to compare with other parents what their children could do and like to express how the other said child should be doing the same by that time.

Your children are unique. They will do things in their own time and when they’re good and ready, and when they achieve that milestone, even if it’s a little later or earlier than other children, it will be nothing short of a very proud moment!

As parents we should support each other and not bring each other down. Everybody’s children are special and we all do our best for them.

This is just a post to shout-out WELL DONE to all the parents out there! You’re all doing a fantastic job! It’s not easy sometimes but it’s definitely worth it in the end.


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Learning To Let Go Of Negative Emotions

When everything piles on top of you, it’s hard to hold back your frustrations & anger. I had a bad day yesterday from all of that. Read all about it here!

Yesterday was a really bad day for me. I had writers block. I just couldn’t think of a topic to write about. I spent an hour looking for inspiration and was sat staring at a blank screen for a long while.

You see all I could think about was how much I had to do. Aurora wasn’t in the best of moods and kept wanting my attention so as you could imagine my concentration was shot. Kiiara had been crying at the same time because she was overtired too. Being a stay-at-home Mum is hard work but I also hold my hands up to the working Mums – I just don’t know how they do it.

Some days I feel like i’ve got this. I can manage to deal with 4 children and get everything done and even have a smile on my face at the end of it (especially when they’re in bed of course), but yesterday I just felt completely overwhelmed with all of it.

It felt like too much is expected of me – I can’t do all of it. I’m only human. I spent so much time fretting over what to write about. It was nearly time to collect the older children from school and the flat was a tip. I hadn’t managed to do anything other than the washing in-between sorting out the girl’s. I felt like I was on a merry go-round that just wouldn’t stop spinning. I was in a loop of things I had to do but they just were out of my reach.

I’ve always kept my mouth shut about things that are bothering me until it builds up and I become a ticking time bomb that could explode any minute. I’ve been trying to change that as i’ve gotten older and instead communicate about how i’m feeling about things to avoid unnecessary confrontations.

Plus i’m real nasty when I lose my temper. I tend to try and avoid this from happening.

I could feel my frustration of yesterday building into anger and I felt like I needed to go for a walk to clear my head. That wasn’t a possible option though as we live on the top floor and I had the girl’s to attend to.

Instead I felt like I had to suffer in silence and just get on with it. Selfish as it may seem I just wanted to have a few minutes to myself and take a breather. Everybody in this household thinks i’m superwoman – the Mum is always the one expected to hold it together but i’m not just Mum, i’m Zoe too. I have feelings just like everybody else. I feel stressed like everybody else.

I wasn’t in the best of moods. It felt like everything was just going wrong. Things were being put in place to just piss me off. As we went to collect the children I forgot Wyatt asked me to bring his plush parrot to school until he had a major meltdown because I didn’t bring it with me. This day just seemed to be getting worse by the minute. Faith also decided to argue with me on the way home. My tipping point was starting to sway further.

When we arrived home, Faith and Wyatt went next door and spent a bit of time with Auntie Lisa which meant Mummy could have a bit of a breather and could clean up the kitchen too. I spoke to Liam about how I was feeling, which resulted in downing a glass of wine as we had a disagreement because we saw things differently with a difference of opinion on the subject.

In the end after all 4 children were all acting up at the same time, I thought enough was enough. I needed some time to just think or just sit in peace and quiet. We finally got them to bed. I realised that I was going to just let yesterday and all those negative feelings slide right over my head.

I felt satisfied I got my point across. I shared how I was feeling, and although it may not have got me anywhere, it avoided confrontation and an exploding Mummy. It can only get better. I’m hoping today is a better day but if things do go wrong, please send wine!

Thank you for taking the time to read my post!


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