Bullies

Knocking out the Oppressor – Shameful Bullying

Walked Faith home from school yesterday – She came out in a foul mood and was rather hostile towards me. I don’t know what had gotten into her, but she really didn’t like me. I sat her down and spoke to her over her recent behaviour.

She confessed that she’s been getting bullied at school! (Not happy one bit)

Faith has mentioned this before and I’ve spoken to the school about it, but this time the participants involved are older children 2 years above her in Year 5.

She told me the kids are calling her names and hitting her, and that she managed to gain the courage to retaliate yesterday, but was then immediately punished for her actions by the teacher – the bully, of course, got away with it! (Justice? I don’t think so!)

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How are you meant to deal with these situations if nothing gets done? It breaks my heart knowing that they have affected her so much, even to the point that she doesn’t want to go to school anymore.

As I spoke to the teacher again this morning, I watched as my little confident girl lowered her head down to look at the floor in fear whilst she relayed to the teacher who it actually was that had been bullying her.

As a mum all you want to do is to protect your children through thick and thin, but how far can you actually go when it comes to bullying?

Bullying has gone on for generations and schools usually support an anti-bullying campaign (if it was effective, she wouldn’t be in this situation right now though), but my questions still linger – does it really work? What makes a child a bully? and what can be done to stop it? 

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I’ve always taught my children NEVER to bully anybody, and especially anyone who is different. Yes my kids can be cheeky at times and may need reminding that bullying is wrong, but that’s just part of being a parent.

I was a victim of bullying when I was a child in school. I worry now that my daughter may be going the same way – I worry how it might be making her feel.

Looking back on how it affected me – how it made me feel (I was very closed off and doubted myself a lot) and how I blamed my mum for making me go everyday, I wonder whether that might be why Faith has been acting up at home and pushing the blame onto me?

I am a different person now but it took me a very long time to get to this point. From experience, bullying affects and changes the person you grow up to become and I still believe it has with myself because I always have a nagging voice in the back of my head doubting my skills and talents (and I don’t just mean my partner either). It makes me feel as if I can’t do something or just feel damn right silly doing it which would then put me off doing it completely – it really shouldn’t be that way.

The only advice I can give to you is to just BE YOURSELF! You are who you are and that’s what makes you UNIQUE. It’s okay to be different and if people do bully you for it, they may just be jealous of who you are.

With that in mind, even though I’ve been affected by bullying all this time I know it’s okay to just be me and not to care what others think of you. At the end of the day, we all finish our lives in the same place whether you are rich, poor, powerful or powerless. Live your life how you want to! Simple! You’ll be much happier that way too!

That’s what I told my beautiful 7 year old girl. I just hope she can take it all in, realise that everybody is unique, and know it’s okay to just be yourself.

For dealing with the bully themselves, if the teachers do not sort it after repetitive notifications to act upon it, it may be wise to call a meeting with the school and invite the parents of the bully to sit down and have a talk over it.

I would love to hear your stories and experiences you may have had with bullies. Let us know your top advice on how to help a child who may be victimised by bullying, in the comments section below!

 

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