Since the children have been at their Dads it has been much quieter and I haven’t had to shout for the most part of a few days now (bonus!), but to be honest I haven’t actually been myself lately.
It seems to be stress after stress. I do feel very blessed having such a big family but I’ve been finding things very difficult. Since moving to Liverpool I’ve realised how home sick I actually am. I miss my family and friends, and frankly it’s been getting me down.
I feel like I haven’t exactly been the best Mum I could be either.
Needing A Time Out
Lately I’ve just needed some time on my own to reflect and evaluate my circumstances, but I feel guilty in doing so because I have housework to do, a toddler to entertain and a partner to talk to, so my reflection time hinders.
I try to cultivate a smile and get on with things – that’s what you have to do when you have so many people who rely on you. I’m not usually mopey or down-in-the-dumps, but I’m finding it really hard to snap out of it (I do wonder where the ‘happy-go-lucky’ Zoe has gone). I want to be my old self again!
No MORE Added Stress
Yesterday wasn’t ideal. What could possibly go wrong?
Well where do I start? The internet went down yet again, so another engineer is to be called out – the 4th one since I’ve moved here might I add. Then me and my partner thought as it was Valentines Day, we’d order a Chinese takeaway in. Nice concept and rather simple. Surely nothing could go wrong…
We didn’t eat it, it was foul! I chose my favourite takeout food, the sweet and sour chicken, but it honestly tasted just like pure vinegar (too sour than sweet). Wasted food = Wasted money. As you can imagine it didn’t contribute well to the mood I was in already.
For dessert we were to order in but from a dessert takeaway app to make us feel better (chocolate certainly cheers me up). As I downloaded the app, chose what to have and proceeded to pay, we were then told that they do not deliver to our postcode – we were literally one postcode out!
I felt like screaming – they were depriving me of my chocolate! Valentines day was clearly not going the way I wanted it to.
We thought there’s no way it could get any worse…
Well of course it did! The electric tripped. We wondered what had caused it. The one thing I use and rely on with 4 kids to dry their clothes – the bloody drier! Computer said No, nata, adiós, boom kaput!
I began thinking perhaps we were cursed – someone had put a curse on us and hasn’t owned up. Hmmm… Either way it was certainly not our day.
My hope is that when we move back, things will brighten up because ever since we’ve been here everything has gone ‘tits up’ so-to-speak. Hopefully things will be better for the rest of the week. A girl needs a bit of luck, or if not, sex would be a nice alternative (can’t even have that at the moment, grrrrr).
However, there is one thing that I’m looking forward to this week. My BEST FRIEND is visiting me! (the last time I had seen her was at my Dads funeral) She is completely bonkers so I know my missing smile will return for atleast that one day.
I feel awful writing this, but in my opinion you need to be a happy Mummy to have happy children. I think perhaps working on myself to get myself back-on-track, and to return back home would certainly boost my optimism. Only 3 weeks left to go before I can escape this abhorrent region, woohoo!
If you liked this blog post, you can check out similar blog posts here!