Disasters

It All Started With Sticky Toffee Pudding!

Everything was going to plan yesterday – this mama was on a roll!

I had all 3 kids bathed, washing done, and clothes ready for the kids for pyjama day at school the following day (a world book day event).

I thought i’d treat everyone by preparing a lovely sticky toffee pudding and custard (happy kids = happy mummy). I even managed to get them all to bed by half 7, which only meant one thing – I got to spend some time with the other half and make a start on reading my new book!

It turned 12am and we thought we would call it a night. All the little monkey’s were fast asleep, until I lay my head on the pillow. I heard Faith yell ‘Mum!

My first thought,

‘What now? You were all asleep not just 5 minutes ago’ (Clock strikes 12. Demons awake. All hell breaks loose).

Faith: ‘Aurora has been sick!’

Liam ran out of bed to clean her and lay her back down to sleep. He came back. All was quiet again.

Yay, time to get some shut eye.

Just as we closed our eyes, ‘Mum! Aurora has been sick again’. My turn this time. I changed her, stripped her bed and attempted to get her back to sleep again.

I swear her Daddy has a magic touch because when I went to lay her down, she had screamed for at least half an hour later. What does he have that I don’t? Apart from a penis ofcourse…….

Finally there was peace in the mini zoo once again. Surely nothing else could have gone wrong right?


Aurora woke up again for the third time bellowing away. It was closing in on 2am and Faith yammered out loud,

‘Oh no have you been sick again?  It’s ok Aurora!’

I was utterly exhausted and so was poor Aurora. Faith seemed to bare an unnatural burst of energy at the most unusual of times – it just came from nowhere. I let her deal with it this time.

Third time lucky. Perhaps I was able to get some sleep. Surely my little baby didn’t have any more sick she could bring up. It took her a little while but she then managed to get some sleep.


5AM Wake Up Call


I heard noises which slowly stirred me awake – I heard singing. What? It was Wyatt’s turn now. No joke he was singing in the bathroom on the toilet, and although was quite humorous to listen to, it wasn’t the most appropriate of times to be singing his little heart out.

I rose out of bed and instructed him to get back to sleep. He grunted and I soon heard him close his bedroom door behind him.

I crawled back in to bed where Kiiara was, just laying there smiling at me (time to be a milk machine once again). I knew I wasn’t going to get much sleep the rest of the night.

I lay there thinking of all the mumsy things I’d have to sort out in the morning. Oh my, the washing. My dryer broke, f**K!

I must have nodded off again but soon heard the children giggling away. The alarm hadn’t even gone off yet. Cradling my head in my hands, I thought surely that was enough bad luck for today.

I peeled myself out of bed this morning and went to make a coffee which was to fuel me awake for the rest of the day (So I always hope).

I was joined by the singing star himself who just kept talking. I wasn’t ready for his babbling just yet. I needed my coffee first to survive the morning hussle bussle.

As I did the usual changing-of-the-bum of my youngest, she spouted wee all over the bed. Yet another task I would have had to do after I got home from taking the monkey’s to school (adding to my list of things-to-do).


Getting Them Out The Door


The time had come to leave for school and the children were to take their favourite books and teddies with them. The ones they had picked weren’t the ones they doubtlessly wanted to take after all, so off they ran upstairs to exchange their books.

Still not ready. Faith only had one shoe on and still needed her hair putting up into a ponytail. Whilst this was happening, Aurora clung round my leg requesting to be picked up. This day was getting worse and it was only 10 to 9.

At last they were at school! Another coffee was in order to stop my eye balls drooping to the floor. I wouldn’t say it would have looked pleasant. I didn’t think much else could go wrong. I’ve got this under control!


The Morning Poop


As I sat down to feed Kiiara, she had her usual morning poo as she drank from me (I’m glad she didn’t do that on the bed too- think I would have just thrown my duvet out otherwise).

Gazing up at me with her mischievous eyes and a massive smile, she then let it rip!

When she finished her morning ritual, she fell asleep.

Suddenly I felt a warmth on my leg. Oh shit! No seriously, I mean shit! She actually shit on me! This can’t be happening. A bomb went off in her pants and exploded up her back and leaked all over me. Through her sleep suit and all over my jeans.

I’ve now been pooped on and Kiiara seemed quite satisfied with herself. A target I was, and she got bullseye! It’s quite obvious to me now they have been all out to get me (full moon last night I wonder?).

It all seems calm for now, but i’ve now learnt to NEVER NEVER EVER ask myself

‘Can anything else go wrong today?’

because I’ve certainly found out from experience, YES, YES IT CAN!

…….And It all started last night with a sticky toffee pudding!

 

If you liked this blog post, you can check out similar blog posts here!

 

-Zoe

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Categories: Disasters, Life

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