When I was younger at the age of around 14 I enjoyed helping my Mum and Dad around the house. I guess I was a little odd back then because most 14 year old’s didn’t want to do that sort of thing.
They let me help on occasion but I’d get in the way most of the time and my Dad used to tell me to go and do something I enjoyed instead. At the time it included drawing and listening to music, and of course singing my little heart out. I can’t sing to save my life now but I still burst out those tunes when the mood takes me.
I was quite an independent little lady and to be honest I don’t remember being any other way.
I think being that way had helped me grow up to be organised and prepared for later in life with 4 children. A thought had crossed my mind though – When do you let your children become independent? What age? Does it also depend on the child’s personality?
I have absolutely no clue but I have found my oldest, Faith, likes to be as independent as she can be. I’m not sure whether that’s because she’s like a mini version of myself or it’s just her personality in general.
Faith will be 8 in 3 months. She makes herself a drink, showers herself, and brushes her own teeth. She does however need reminding to tidy her room now and again.
In general though she’s a very independant little girl but there’s only so much that I allow her to do because my worries set in just in case she hurts herself. I also think it’s simply something to do with her growing up – it’s daunting to say the least. Who doesn’t want to hold on to their children a little longer?
I know at some point I will have to let go and let her become who she is to learn things for herself. I must admit this is very difficult for me. I’ve always been the type of person to want to take care of other people – it’s just my nature.
I must say though despite being a little madam at times, I’m very proud of her for the little lady she’s becoming.
Then there’s Wyatt who is completely different to his older sister. He tidies his room and makes his bed but isn’t near enough as independent. I’ve recently introduced him to showering himself on his own, but I still have to make sure he’s brushed his teeth properly and washed his hair.
He can play independently on his own – he seems to enjoy his own company and he has one-hell of an imagination. Simple tasks however, Wyatt prefers for either myself or Daddy to do it. For example: to get him his clothes, get him a drink, and sometimes help him put his own socks on.
This takes me back to what I was saying earlier. Is it based on a child’s personality to what age they decide to become independent?
It amazes me how different children can be from one another but that’s also what makes them so unique.
Watching them grow up is an amazing experience despite the stress, tiredness and the bad days where I’m having to shout. Being a Mum is everything I’ve known since I was 18.
I can’t really remember who I was before I became a Mum. I know I need to let my kids become who they’re meant to be but if I’m honest, I’m scared. Owning my independence from when I was younger has certainly helped me through life – pushing through every obstacle, so I know I need to suck it up and let them be the same.
I will just always be on the side lines to catch them if they fall.
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