After a long hectic day it finally hit bedtime – the busiest time of my day. I sent all the children upstairs ready for their baths. Wyatt first, Aurora, then Faith. I sorted the washing out in-between. It finally hit 8pm. I tucked all three of them in bed ready to get some shut eye. All that was left to do was to get Kiiara to sleep then I could relax and read my book.
It was all quiet so I popped to the toilet enjoying the fact that I could actually go without having any of the children knocking on the door to come and speak to me, or wanting something at the most inappropriate of times.
That’s when I heard it – a door creaked open. Wyatt came back out of his room. Footsteps drew louder as he approached the bathroom, and slowly opened the door. He had his onesie unzipped down to his ankles with his bum pushed out.
‘Mum, look! My privates wont go down.’
He looked panic stricken and I had to withhold myself from laughter – this was very uncomfortable. There was no way I was ready for this conversation.
I had to compose myself and I told him
‘It’s ok, it’s normal. That’s what happens to boys.’
I was wishing Liam would come to save me at this point. I didn’t think I’d be having this conversation any time soon with my 6 year old son.
I told him to just ignore it, go back to bed and it will be fine. I thought that would have been the end of the conversation but boy I was so wrong.
He started asking me questions
‘Why does it happen?’
To which I replied as calmly and as composed as I could
‘It happens to every boy. You’re ok, it’s nothing to worry about. Don’t mess and it will go down on its own.’
He replied back.
‘Does it happen to Daddy too?’
Really? Did this have to happen now?
I stayed as calm and collected as I could, and replied
‘Yes buddy it happens to all males.’
‘Well I’ve never seen Daddy’s do that.’
I stifled a laugh.
‘That’s because we keep privates private.’
I was sat on the toilet with no escape from this conversation. I wanted to run away and avoid the questions altogether.
He was finally happy with my answers and returned back to bed. I could finally breathe again. Making my way back to the bedroom, I heard him come out of his room again.
Oh no not again. He came over with his privates still hanging out.
‘Look Mum, it’s ok now. It’s gone back down!’
I put on a smile.
‘I told you it would. Go back to sleep now.’
He trotted off back to his bedroom.
I walked into my room and couldn’t hold it in any longer I burst out laughing. Liam confused as to why I was giggling my head off.
‘Oh God I can’t believe that happened.’
I told him what Wyatt had said. Liam laid his head in his hands. I was not expecting to have that conversation, especially while sat on the loo.
Kids come out with the strangest of things at the most inappropriate of times, but I’m glad so far today he hasn’t mentioned it again.
Considering he caught me completely off guard I managed to handle it well and composed myself until I returned into my bedroom.
Next time I think Daddy can answer the next set of questions if he has anymore. I’ll just deal with the girls when they come to ask about their bodies.
I think I forget sometimes how grown up they have become and still think of them as babies. I’m dreading their teenage years but I will leave that to the man of the house.
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