Life

Being a Mum Has Stolen My Identity!

I’ve been a Mum since the age of 18 and it’s all I’ve ever known after I had left education. As much as I enjoy being a Mum to four beautiful children (who drive me completely insane sometimes) I’ve been sat thinking recently about who I actually am as a person.

What makes me more than just a Mum? …………………… To be honest I don’t really know. Being a Mum has taken up pretty much all of my time so I haven’t really discovered myself yet.

I enjoy reading and there is so much more I would like to do but I’ve always put them aside because I feel guilty about spending time on myself and put that same effort into the children instead.

The children are my main priority but I have been thinking lately that maybe I should start doing things for myself. I just need to find the time to do it.

It’s hard to explain but because I’m slowly approaching 30, it’s just hit me that I don’t know who I am – I need to find my identity – Become Zoe again as well as being somebody’s Mummy and partner.

I opened up to Liam about what I want to do and it may take abit of time but I’m determined to learn to be Zoe again.

I’ve began with a plan to change my hairstyle and dye it a different colour. I then want to get a new tattoo of the girls names because I have only got the oldest two’s names so far.

Eventually get a new wardrobe with a different style than what I have now. My final plan is to get fit and join a class.

I honestly don’t know what made me want to do these things, perhaps a midlife crisis or just a realisation of what i’m actually doing with my life – I don’t actually know anything other than being a Mum. I think I owe it to myself to add to my own life experiences and do my best to achieve what I want.

I want to be able to feel sexy again. It’s been a while since I’ve felt that way. Perhaps some of you can relate too, especially when your life revolves around bringing up your children?

I don’t regret having my babies at a young age but as I see it now, I’m finally happy about living back in our hometown – being able to spend time with family and friends. I’ve found a man who is just perfect in my eyes and I know I don’t want anybody else.

I’ve got 4 little monkeys that make a beautiful family. I just now need to find myself and things will be perfect.

I’ve heard a saying that if Mummy is happy, then kiddies are happy too. This is something i’ll have to keep reminding myself whenever I feel guilty about bettering myself.

Eventually I would also like to finish my Teaching Assistant Course Level 2 and be able to become a TA, and then take up my driving lessons again.

Maybe one day I will achieve these things but I’m taking it one step at a time starting with a haircut and getting myself into shape for the Summer.

I’ve learnt that I can be a good Mum as well as taking time out to be a couple, and also to be myself too.

I feel like I’m finally getting my life together and I must admit it’s a great feeling to have. I just need to kick my awful smoking habit, but we will see on that one – I’ve been saying that for years (it’s harder than it looks).

So ladies if you feel that you need to take some of yourself back, then don’t hesitate to do it!

It doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. We are all human and we need to take some time out for ourselves once in a while to learn to love ourselves again no matter what it is – whether fitness classes, studying something new or going to get your nails done.

We are all human and need a some ‘Me’ time now and again.

 

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-Zoe

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Categories: Life, Motherhood

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