Today I thought I’d talk about co-sleeping and the stigma behind it all.
I recently came across a post that a husband posted up about his wife – how he supports his wife co-sleeping with their children as they aren’t little for long.
He wanted her to enjoy closeness with her children before they grow and not want to share their bed anymore.
The post was very touching but as I read down the comments, I was shocked to see some horrible ones. Some comments cited that they were being stupid – that they are going to spoil them, kill their child by rolling onto them during the night or suffocating them.
Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, but it winds me up how people feel the need to judge others parenting skills.
I know when you first have a baby the health visitor will go through their textbook rules telling you not to do this that and the other, and the risks of doing it, including SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).
I understand people’s worries and why some parents don’t do it but I also believe that parents that do do it, know what they are doing and how their children respond.
There is also the stigma of the Dad not being as maternal as the Mother, and he may roll onto the child not knowing they are there. I think it’s a little degrading to Dads – as long as you follow the basic rules when co-sleeping, you should be safe enough!
The rules usually include:
- Not drinking if you are going to have the baby in the bed.
- Drugs shouldn’t be taken either (can lead to a deep sleep).
- Smoking is also mentioned. As I’m a smoker and I’ve co-slept with all of mine and my kiddies came out perfectly fine, I don’t see a big issue there unless you smoke heavily and breathe it onto your baby.
Back to our previous discussion – Dads not being as maternal as Mothers and unable to notice a baby in bed with them.
Liam has NEVER NOT noticed Aurora or Kiiara in bed when they were babies. It’s hard not to – they usually make their presence known!
I’ve always co-slept with my children when they were little. It’s just a personal choice of mine. Even though they say moses baskets are safer, I’ve always felt safer knowing they were next to me snug and warm enough. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep properly worrying about them in a different bed from me despite being in the same room.
Even though Faith and Wyatt weren’t breastfed, I enjoyed our closeness when cuddled up with them. They stayed in my bed until they turned 14 months old, then they went into their own beds.
Wyatt got to the point where he didn’t want Mummy in the bed with him anymore and more or less kicked me out! It was fine by me because it meant there wasn’t as much of a struggle transitioning him into his own bed.
When Aurora came along I also co-slept with her too because I had to breastfeed her. She was up every hour and a half, and I was shattered especially after having to get up with the other children too!
Co-sleeping helped because she would just dream feed. I’d wake having to swap boobs through the night though, but we both slept much better doing it that way.
Trying to get Aurora into her cot after Co-sleeping was quite difficult. She would have to fall asleep with me, then we would have to move her into her cot. She would wake in the night wanting to come back into bed. It was a constant struggle until one day after I was heavily pregnant with Kiiara, we decided that it was time for Aurora to go into Faith’s room.
We were expecting a restless night or two before she got used to it, but to our surprise she slept through the night and has done ever since apart from occasionally wanting a bottle or after having a bad dream.
I soon realised that she was being sneaky and just wanted cuddles in the middle of the night!
I currently co-sleep with Kiiara too and she sleeps really well usually until the early hours of the morning when she dream feeds. It sometimes keeps me up having to swap boobs again but I don’t regret having any of them next to me when they’ve been little.
When Kiiara turns 1 it will be her turn to share a room with Aurora in a cot. I’m just hoping it’s an easy transition like it was when Aurora had shared with Faith.
Even though I enjoy having cuddles with Kiiara at night, I can’t wait to get my bed back – just me and Liam again and no more babies. Means couple time, lots of cuddles and lots of sex too!
So ladies whether you co-sleep or you don’t, we are all doing what we think is best for our children. We need to build each other up as parents instead of hating on each other. Parenting is certainly a tough job the best of times, so we don’t need to be brought down further by other people’s opinions.
Keep doing what you’re doing because you know what’s best for your family, nobody else.
Love, a co-sleeping mama!
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