Kids

Dealing With Emotion – Allowing Your Child To Express Themselves

This is a subject close to my heart. When I was growing up I felt frustrated that I got into trouble for letting out my emotions and frustrations, and I felt like nobody listened!

I did have a good relationship with my parents and I was really close with my Dad but being young, understanding the world was difficult. I followed the rules sometimes and broke them as you do, but my point of question is how far is too far for your children to express themselves before we call it naughty behaviour?

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I would say I’m quite a strict parent but I can also be quite lenient at times. I feel that the children should be able to express how they are feeling and be able to come to talk to me if they feel the need to instead of worrying that they will get into trouble.

I see it as even though they are younger and have less worries than adults, we are all human and they can get angry and annoyed just like us. Especially toddlers, jeez!

In my opinion as long as the children aren’t screaming at me or smashing the house up or physically fighting with their siblings, then I will let them express their emotions. Just the other day Faith wasn’t happy that I said “NO!” She turned into a mini teenager, stropping around.

Her usual line,

“I’m going to bed”

as she stomps off to her room.

5 minutes later she came out of her room uttering,

“You said boys are hard work. Girls are flipping harder!”

Liam, Lisa and I we’re in fits of giggles. Perhaps it was not the best way to react but to me, she wasn’t doing any harm – she was just expressing how she felt. She soon calmed down, came over to me and asked whether I still love her.

My reply was

“Yes of course. Have you calmed down now?”

She replied

“Yes”

And gave me a big cuddle. She then said

“Goodnight”

and I didn’t hear a peep out of her after that until the morning.

You see she reminds me of me when I was little. I mean she could be a clone, and looking back on my childhood how I dealt with my emotions, that had me thinking why it’s so important for her to let hers out too.

I don’t agree with her back chatting me though. In my eyes she’s an amazing little girl who’s just learning the way of the world and getting to know herself as she grows up. I don’t think I should be the one to withhold her from that but she needs to learn how to deal with her anger herself and learn how to calm herself down because she will need to know this when she’s an adult.

I will teach them right from wrong, and when it’s not acceptable to let them emotions out if its going to hurt other people’s feelings.

Now Wyatt is a total different kettle of fish altogether. I believe that he too can let out his feelings but because of Wyatts learning difficulties, he struggles with dealing with his emotions and tends to become angry and lash out.

Even though I would like him to learn how to deal with them himself, I usually have to get involved to calm him down otherwise it begins to turn into naughty behaviour – It certainly isn’t acceptable.

For example: He’ll answer back, slam doors, breaks toys and trashes his room. He sometime lashes out hitting or even doing things that can seriously hurt himself too!

My questions to you all –

-Do you let your children express themselves?

-How far is too far?

-When does it become unacceptable behaviour?

 

I would love to hear some of your stories of how your children deal with their emotions and whether they have said anything funny out of frustration!

Love a thoughtful Mama.

 

 

If you liked this post, please drop us a like and share it with your friends! Any comments, please drop them in the comments section below! You can read similar posts here!

 

-Zoe

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