Difficulties

Communication Frustration – The Importance of Communicating in a Relationship

Have you ever been annoyed about something your spouse was doing, or just let things build up on top of you which makes the small problems ten times worse in your head? – You put so much pressure on yourself and take it out on your other half.

I’d say most of us do this including myself. You see i’m an over thinker and I get worked up over what I have to get done in a day and to get it done in a certain amount of time, and if I don’t achieve this then it really pisses me off. It will tend to put me in a grumpy mood all day.

I understand it’s hard to get everything done when you have a demanding toddler who wants this, that and the other, and a baby that needs feeding who will only fall asleep attached to the boob, but I just get frustrated. I’m one of those people who like to be organised and like things done in a certain way so i’m not running around all day like a headless chicken until it’s time to drop flat on the bed from exhaustion.

I was quite proud of myself the other day. It might sound silly but I feel so unproductive despite the plethora of washing I do everyday, cleaning the kitchen and more. I wanted to do more than just attending to the usual rooms. I felt like i’m forever cleaning the same rooms over and over and over again many times a day.

I wanted to feel like i’ve done something else other than that. I’ve managed to sort out Wyatts room and it felt good. It’s finally organised! Liam made a remark that I have OCD but I just don’t like clutter – i’ve always been the same ever since I was young.

Anyhow yesterday was a day from hell. I put so much pressure on myself to get things done and I usually sit and think what I need to do whilst i’m feeding Kiiara. Doing that I think makes it worse because I can’t do it until she’s finished, which could take up to an hour. I do know that so long as the children are looked after and had their needs met then all is well, but I dislike just sitting down and not getting the things I want to done.

Needless to say I didn’t get half the stuff done I put in place for myself yesterday and I became pissed off and told Liam I’ve had enough. I can’t keep overwhelming myself with things. I just couldn’t wait to go to bed!

I felt like everything was just being piled on me from looking after the children to doing all the housework, bedtime routine etc. I know he’s got his own things to work on throughout the day but it just felt like it was getting too much yesterday.

So as a stubborn moo, rather than talking to Liam, I just point blank became annoyed with him – I just wanted to get the day over with. He was getting on my nerves just being around him. I just wanted to be left alone to my own thoughts so I could mope and be mad in peace.

It doesn’t do me any good thinking like this and it doesn’t help relationships either holding on to built up anger – it will just make things worse and you will drift apart doing this and it’s certainly not what I want.

I love him dearly and I wouldn’t know what to do without him. He’s the man I plan on spending the rest of my life with, so I will get back onto the….


Importance of communication in a relationship


We spoke last night about how I was feeling and we talked it through. He had thrown out suggestions about ways I could try to make it easier for myself if I ever felt like that again. He spoke about how he was feeling too and I must say I felt much better talking it through with him!

It takes me a while to talk but when I do it really helps no matter what the problem is. Whether big or small, after getting your feelings out to each other and listening, it helps you both understand each others feelings and to come to a compromise over a solution to sort it all out.

So if any of you have any problems with your spouse or need them to help with something, remember they are only human and can’t read minds (I think I have to remind myself of this one sometimes). Talking things through is definitely an important part of ANY healthy relationship.

It’s much better trying to talk things through instead of getting to a point where you resent that person so there’s no way back to that loving relationship, all because of that pent up emotion.

I think I need to try to open up more instead of letting things get to me for a few days or so before I finally let Liam know what’s bothering me. It would save a lot of frustration and would resolve the problem much sooner, which means making up will be a lot quicker too.

I’m hoping this weekend will bring peace and quiet. I need a break from the chaos of everyday life – time for myself whether that be a soak in the bath or just to catch up on my sleep for an hour. This Mama needs some alone time with a big box of chocolates and no distractions to recuperate and prepare for the following week ahead!

 

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-Zoe

 

Featured Photo by Kaboompics .com from Pexels

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