The Struggling Mama

I had a bad day yesterday. It was difficult to parent, and I was having enough. It doesn’t help when my own blood lie to my face either. Find out what happened and who the culprits were here!

Yesterday was a hard day to parent. Faith and Wyatt decided they just didn’t want to get on at all, not even for 5 minutes.

They were constantly arguing from the moment they got up until they went to bed. I was emotionally exhausted.

I found myself yelling all day and it’s not what I wanted to do. I wanted to enjoy my kids before they went to their Dads on the weekend. They even ended up in a full-on fight. Wyatt hit Faith, and then it ended up in a loop with Faith retaliating. Wyatt then retaliating back. I screamed at them to stop fighting but I assumed they chose to not listen as they didn’t hear a word I said.

I left them to it. If they weren’t going to listen, they had to learn the hard way. As I left them to it they must have sensed I left the room because they stopped. I think they were getting their own back on me for winding them up the other day.

As you could imagine I was overly stressed. I had so much to do but I felt like every time I did something I had to do it again – it was never ending. I ran out of nappies for Kiiara so I had to drag the kids with me to do some shopping. They thought this was a great opportunity to run around the shops. Arghh, I could have screamed!

I had to remind myself to be calm and just bloody breath. I was counting down the hours until bedtime. Aurora piped up half way through the day with tantrums. I was out numbered with grumpy, argumentative children, and I certainly felt the impact of it all.

I had to pull myself together and show the children they weren’t wearing me down even though it was difficult. I took the grumpy toddler for a nap – one down just two more to sort out.

Faith sat on the sofa watching a dvd and Wyatt went to play in his room. I finally managed to sort the housework out but all this shouting put me in a foul mood for the rest of the day.

My main issue with the children’s behaviour at the moment is the constant arguing. It’s also because Wyatt is being sneaky and continues to lie. I would much rather him own up and apologise than lie straight to my face.

I really worry about his future. He’s not a bad kid but he’s easily led and when i’ve tried to explain to him why he shouldn’t behave the way he does, he will talk about something completely different and irrelevant to what I was talking about.

I’ve had a few issues with his behaviour this morning – his usual antics of munching really early before anyone else is up. Liam found wrappers of what he had been eating and asked him about it.

He blatantly said “no”

then changed his mind and said he ‘forgotted’.

As he was sat watching cartoons we also noticed his pajama bottoms were in the corner. He had literally ripped them to pieces. They were perfectly intact when he put them on last night.

I really don’t know what causes his impulsive behaviour but I really worry incase somebody leads him astray and tells him to do something dangerous – he will end up doing it. He’s not a bad kid at all but his behaviour is very challenging at the moment. I’m hoping when he gets a bit of extra support we will be able to understand how he thinks and can finally get on his wavelength.

I feel like a terrible Mum sometimes because I tell him off alot but I just don’t know what else to do to get his behaviour back on track.

I know yesterday was just a bad day but I still feel down in the dumps today from having to be the ‘crazy yelling Mummy’. Children need discipline but I feel awful having to shout at them. I hope they realise when they’re older that I love them and that I told them off for a reason – either to keep them safe or teach them right from wrong and be respectful human beings.

Hard days like yesterday make me doubt myself as a Mother, but then I stop to think my kids love me and I them, and i’d go to the ends of the earth to protect them. After all, i’m doing my best for them, even if that means losing my cool now and again.

So this Mama is going to rock on and be the best Mum I can be for these tiny little pains in the bums.

 

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-Zoe

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Author: Zoe

Hi! I'm Zoe Williams. I am a mum of 4 children and I am in a happy relationship with my partner Liam. I like reading, writing and various other activities. I like spending time with the kids and now I am here to blog about it.

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