Do you remember the days where you could relax and I mean truly relax, and just switch off from your thoughts before you had children, or a running list of things you had to do that instead clouded your mind?
You see I’ve had great difficulty with this at the moment. My brain just won’t switch off and it’s frustrating and damn right annoying to say the least.
I remember not that long ago where I could just relax after the children were in bed and I could be myself for a little while but I honestly don’t know what has gotten into me lately. After I’ve done everything i’ve needed to do throughout the day and all the children are tucked up tight, I go to bed and read for a little while but I can’t seem to switch off. It’s like my mind is on overdrive and I always seem to be worrying or thinking about things I need to do the following day.
I really miss being able to just be myself for a while and enjoy some couple time with my favourite person, but it’s hard and if i’m honest I don’t have a clue how to get back to that place of tranquillity I used to have.
As much as I love being a Mother and know how lucky I am to have four beautiful children, I also want to be more than just Mummy all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I know being a parent is a 24/7 job but I also want to be able to just be a couple aswell where we enjoy time just Me and him. We do watch movies together of a night time and spend time together which I obviously enjoy but I also get frustrated because even though i’m there it feels like i’m not there completely because my brain keeps wandering and running on overdrive.
As i’m sat here writing this i’m currently thinking of ways to get it back but i’m drawing up blanks. My brain only seems to work when I don’t want it to. Typical ayy.
I don’t have a clue what has caused it, whether it’s just because i’m in Mummy mode constantly or because Father’s day is coming up and it’ll be the first year without my Dad around. How do you solve it if you don’t know what’s causing it?
Could it be my subconscious telling me i’m overly stressed perhaps? I’m not sure but I miss my happy-go-lucky self. I seem to be much more serious these days.
I think I’m going to try to get my ‘mojo’ back this weekend, and even though I still have the girls I think I need to find ways to relax and do things that I enjoy, such as a bubble bath, candles and a relaxing atmosphere. It should hopefully get me back on track because feeling this way makes me miserable and distant, and I don’t like it one bit!
I think it’s time to make a change and put some time into myself and me and Liam as a couple too, even if it’s just one day a week because the last thing I want to do is lose anymore of myself and also lose us as a couple too. I think we’ve been putting too much time into other things and neglecting ourselves in the process.
Wish me luck guys! I will be able to be a great Mum as well as be my true self sometime again soon hopefully.
I would love to hear if any of you have ever had this happen to yourselves. Whether you lost the person you used to be or just find that life gets in the way because you’re on overdrive and overthink everything, and how you managed to solve it? Let us know in the comments section below!
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