Life

How to be a Real and True Friend

As human beings we enjoy being able to interact with others whether that be a group of complete strangers we may speak to about our day, old classmates passing by in the street that we catch up with, or even people we call our friends.

Being able to have that interaction helps us feel like we have a connection with the world – making us feel as though we are not alone and bringing joy to our lives as we have a laugh with another person. It certainly means something to us.

You see just like family, I think friends are important too but it’s finding the right people to be friends with that’s critical.

What I mean by this is that some people aren’t good for us, perhaps leading us to do things we wouldn’t normally do but because you want to be able to fit in with that group, we do it anyway. Then you have the friends that talk behind your back – only talk to you when they want something who aren’t really true friends at all.

As children we get put into a classroom with a group of children and usually would get along with them all but as we grow our friendships change and we make friends with other people. Usually by the time we get to high school or college those friends we used to hang around with are now completely different people and rarely stay in contact at all.

How do we choose our friendships as we grow?

What makes us drift apart as we grow older?

How do we learn who to trust and who not to?

Being a true friend to somebody means there are things you should and shouldn’t do. Loyalty and trust is an important part of any friendship and of course honesty is a good factor too.

I’ve learnt when it comes to friendship that the most important things are to always be there for them if they need you, even if it’s just them ranting about how bad their day has been.

Be there for them in their darkest hours.

And know when to be serious and when to be goofy.

Also look out for jealousy and two-facedness. This is how you know that this person is probably not the best person to confide in about your problems.

As an adult i’ve noticed how easily I could say the many friends I have, which technically I do – Facebook is a wonderful thing but could I say all those people actually know me and I mean truly know me?

That would be NO, not at all.

Could I turn around and say I could open up to the people I have on Facebook? The answer to that is also NO.

After all they are more like acquaintances – people I speak to but who i’m not solely close to. If i’m honest, looking at it respectively, I wouldn’t say I have many friends at all but i’m actually ok with that and do you know why that is? Because it’s better to have a few friends who you can trust completely and allow for balancing your time well, than a massive group of ‘friends’ who you can’t balance your time between who you may not be able to rely on when it calls for it.

I have found something out lately though. Even the closest of friends I have don’t really seem to bother anymore. It maybe because they are doing it to avoid me or perhaps they just simply have things going on with their own lives at the moment and just don’t have the time.

Either way, i’ve learnt to keep my circle of friends small and know that sometimes friends occasionally outgrow each other over the years just like during and after high school.

It’s just the way of life and how we all grow as people. We make new friends along the way and if you’re lucky, some of the old friends remain with you for a lifetime.

Being a true friend is important to me just like my family are. I believe if you are friends with somebody and they tell you a secret for only you to know, you shouldn’t betray their trust and share it with others.

Trust, honesty, loyalty and communication is very important to me and I think as long as you have these traits in a relationship, then you will thrive.

 

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-Zoe

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