Life

Dealing with Aggressive Behaviour in Children

Having a baby is an exciting time and the anticipation sets in wanting to know who these tiny little humans will become.

Watching them grow from year-to-year, our job as parents is to guide them and show them right from wrong whilst showing them they are loved too. It isn’t the easiest of tasks but we do it because we love them, but what happens when a child becomes aggressive as they grow up, targeting their parents and even teachers? What are you supposed to do then?

I firmly believe that children aren’t just naughty for no reason – like us they have reasons behind their frustrations and anger but it’s just finding the source that is difficult. Whether they will open up to you about their problem is another thing entirely.

When Faith was a couple of years younger around 6 years old, she had an aggressive phase and it was completely aimed towards me. I tried speaking to her but she would lash out and while putting her in time-out, she would hit me. I remember her hatred of me like it was just yesterday. She said some horrible things which made me cry and feel like a complete failure as a Mum.

I didn’t know what was bothering her – she just wouldn’t open up. That was until one day I was reading her a story before bed and she finally started speaking to me about what was bothering her. It turned out that she was speaking to her Nan from her biological Dads side which I forbade, and her Dad told her to keep it a secret and not to tell me.

Her Nan was also bad mouthing me to her which put a lot of stress on such a young girl. I must admit I was livid. Children don’t need to experience stress so soon in their lives – it’s not fair on them!

I told her that she can always speak to me and that she shouldn’t keep secrets. I wasn’t mad at her and I told her that her Nan wasn’t a very nice person and to ignore what she had said.

After this deep conversation she soon calmed down and didn’t lash out again and her hostility towards me just vanished. She did have her moments where she misbehaved but it was just children being children.

My point is with children, like anybody there is always a reason behind their anger and aggression.

I firmly believe that an angry child needs support and not necessarily punishment. He or she needs help. Don’t get me wrong I don’t condone children hitting parents or teachers and I could imagine how difficult it is dealing with this behaviour and how draining it can be physically and emotionally. It will also help having somebody to speak to about it because otherwise it can make you feel isolated, especially if you see other parents with children who don’t have the same problem.

I think a good tactic might be spending one-on-one time with the child doing something they enjoy doing. They may open up to you that way. It could take a few tries but maybe once a week just finding the time to spend together could be a big help in changing their behaviour or at least a step in the right direction.

It might come across as though i’d be rewarding them for their bad behaviour but that’s not what i meant at all. If there has been an incident, then by all means deal with it accordingly. I just mean that perhaps the child needs some guidance and some positive attention so they realise that THEY ARE LOVED and THEY’RE NOT BAD CHILDREN.

I understand everybody’s situation is different and i’m not an expert in this topic but i’m just speaking from experience from my daughter and what i’ve seen from a young boy that I know recently.

I would love to hear what your opinions are on this topic! Drop them down in the comments section below.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post!

 

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-Zoe

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