Life

Feeling Fulfilment – Frustrations, Sacrifices & Patience

Have you ever felt a lack of fulfilment, like you’ve got a lot to be thankful for in your life but you have that niggling feeling that your missing something? That something you need in order to be able to actually say “yes i’ve got it all”.

We as humans always thrive to better ourselves or feel the need to try something new to feel a sense of success. Whether that be starting a new career, going back to education, just taking up a new hobby, or finally going on your first holiday abroad.

I’ve felt like this a few times myself where even though i’m happy with my relationship and my children, I also feel that there’s more to me than just being a Mum. It’s also all i’ve ever known since 18 years of age. It’s hard being taken out of my comfort zone and even thinking about all the things I would like to do as a person – it makes me feel nervous.

Before I had the children I went to college and studied Health and Social care NVQ Level 2 and did work experience at a care home for the disabled. After I passed my course I was offered a job at the place I had been doing work experience for and I loved it!

I then fell pregnant with Faith so my career got put on hold and I became a stay-at-home Mum instead. With this being said it was what I had become accustomed to looking after my daughter and now my other three children as well.

I did go to college again in the meantime before Aurora was born to study a Level 1 Teaching Assistant course which I passed, but needed to do Level 2 to completely qualify in order to get a job working with children.

I must admit I enjoy being with my babies and I wouldn’t want anybody else to raise them because quite frankly they’re only little once, but my point being i’ve got so much more that I want to do and things that I enjoy doing that I don’t get much time to do anymore.

My dream career would be to work with children with disabilities or in a playgroup setting. As much as I enjoyed doing work experience in a school as a TA, i’m not quite sure whether it’s something I really want to do for the rest of my life. I’m quite on the fence about it at the moment.

I would also like to learn to drive. I did do lessons around 4 years ago now. I passed my theory but failed my driving test twice. Once due to making one mistake and the second time because I became nervous after failing the first time. I couldn’t quite afford to carry on doing it, so I had to stop doing my lessons and my theory certificate eventually expired. If I wanted to begin driving again, I would have to resit the theory too (the certificate only allows for 2 years in order to complete your practical test). Hopefully I will take it up again eventually.

I’ve also never been abroad. My Dad has always been a worrier (That’s probably where I get it from), so he didn’t like to travel far or let us go too far either.

I would eventually love to take the children on a family vacation somewhere hot (I have a fear of heights so it should be fun flying on an aeroplane, especially with 4 children in tow).

I also used to draw when I was younger, mostly of ‘Winnie the Pooh’. He was my childhood favourite and I enjoyed just sitting quietly and feeling accomplished after I completed my sketches. As an adult now I can’t get to that inner peace to be able to sit and draw extensively. Instead I read every night which I really enjoy doing. It’s my ‘Me’ time after having a busy day with the children.

There is many more things I could list down that I would like to do to help me feel alive and more like a person, and just help feel a sense of fulfilment but i’d be here all day if I were to continue. Not a day goes by that i’m not busy in the ‘Mini Zoo’.

I would love to hear if any of you have felt like this. Have you begun something for yourself and seen it through? Has it given you a feeling of fulfilment?

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my post!

 

If you liked this post, please drop us a like & share with your friends! You can read plenty more posts here, so check them all out!

 

-Zoe

 

Featured Photo by Archie Binamira from Pexels

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