Mummy Confessions: Entry 10

Diary entry No. 10 of a stressed-out mum dealing with 4 kids. What it’s like and how it feels to deal with them all at once! Read all about it here!

It’s been one of those weeks where it’s been full-on and i’ve been feeling completely stressed out with everything – mostly the children to be honest.

It started when Faith decided to pretend she was unwell so that she could get time off school, despite being her last week before she was to break up. After her behaviour on Tuesday it proved she wasn’t unwell at all. I spent the day being cross, especially when Wyatt returned home. They just couldn’t get on and thought it would be the best time to wind Mummy up.

I decided that she could spend the day at her Dad’s yesterday whilst I got everything I needed to get done, done. Morning came around and already the pair of them were arguing. I didn’t sleep too well the night before either so I wasn’t wishing to tell them off at 7am in the morning – I felt exhausted.

I got all the kids ready to get Wyatt to school and Faith to her dads. Aurora also had a taster session at playgroup too that morning. After sorting out the chaos, we were finally ready to leave when all of a sudden Liam called me into Wyatts room.

Liam held up Wyatts cup to my nose to sniff.

“What does that smell like to you?” He asked.

Wyatt went for a wee in his cup! Yeah you heard me right!

I asked him the reason and he replied back,

“I don’t know.”

I wasn’t amused to say the least but I just didn’t know what to do. I was in complete and utter shock. I was not liking this day already. I felt like I just needed a break from the yelling and the children to have some me-time to recuperate from the stress i’ve felt all week.

The day seemed to get worse as it went on. Aurora ended up vomiting twice. The first time after lunch, she vomited in the kitchen and in the cupboard which led to a meltdown. As I cleaned it up, Aurora was yawning through her cries, so we took her for a nap hoping she’d feel better after resting. She went straight to sleep. I had a million and one things to do but just couldn’t bring myself to do them. I needed rest too!

It was nearly time to collect the children but I wasn’t ready for their bickering and complaining about each other, so instead I thought i’d ask my Mum to collect Wyatt and drop him off at his Dads til later that afternoon so I could have abit of quiet time and get the housework done. I ended up going for a nap myself and got woken up to Aurora vomiting again in her bedroom this time.

As Liam cleaned up the vomit off the floor, I changed her bed and got her cleaned up too. More washing to add to my endless list of cleaning I had yet to complete.

Did I feel guilty for palming the oldest two off with their Dad? Maybe a little but I was just feeling overwhelmed with what was put on my plate yesterday and I just couldn’t deal with them all driving me crazy.

I must admit the nap helped. I felt much better for it and managed to get all the housework done without stressing about it all or having to start and stop because of the kids arguing over the tele and other things.

As much as I enjoy being a Mummy, I still need a break occasionally to either catch up on sleep or just be me for a little while. Today, well I feel like I can take on the world and don’t feel much stress at all.

Being a Mum definitely has its ups and downs. Yesterday was a down day but I got back up again to continue with the chaos we call our Mini Zoo.

Thank you for reading my post!


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Mummy Confessions: Entry 9

Diary entry No. 9 of a stressed-out mum dealing with 4 kids. What it’s like and how it feels to deal with them all at once!

Do you ever have those days where you could quite happily scream just to get your frustrations out? I had one of those days yesterday.

I heard Wyatt wake up at his usual time around 6am and as I pulled myself out of bed and headed downstairs for my shower, I noticed he closed the living room door (He only ever does this if he’s trying to hide something). I went into the living room and he looked at me guilty-as-sin.

I uttered to him,

“What have you had to eat?”

He replied,

“Cheese strings”

I’ve told him countless times that he needs to stop munching on things before his breakfast – it doesn’t ever sink in.

As I did the usual morning routine of getting the children ready for school, everything seemed to be going quite smoothly. Faith was behaving – she even tidied her room and made her bed before school. Aurora seemed to be in a good mood as well – she even let me put her hair in a bobble and put a bow in too. She looked absolutely adorable in her little orange summer dress and sandals.

She decided she wanted to walk home but she ended up tripping over and hurting her knee. She got upset for a minute or so but still wanted to continue walking home. When we finally arrived back (it takes so much longer with a walking toddler), she wanted to sit and watch the famous ‘Waffle the Wonder Dog’ so we settled down while I fed Kiiara.

Then out of the blue she said


I looked at her and replied

“Aww. Have you got a poppo?”

She replied back with

“Kiss it better”.

I got a little emotional at this. She’s just adorable and so girlie!

As the day progressed things just seemed to take a turn for the worse. Aurora turned into a little demon child and was getting upset over everything, and oh boy the tantrums! I have never seen her this bad before.

She was definitely overtired and hot and bothered because of the weather but she point-blank refused to sleep. Instead she screamed and screamed and lashed out at me when I was trying to change her nappy. Don’t get me started on bathtime. That’s a major battle in itself. Arghhh and breath.

I had to pop out and get some bits and bobs from the shop. Liam was busy and because of all the stairs there was no way I was getting down them with 2 prams on my own so I had to contact my Mum to come and help me. In the end I only took Kiiara in her pram and Aurora went on her reins.

While waiting for my Mum to show up Kiiara was crying because she was tired and Aurora was screaming too. I had a whole lot of washing and cleaning to do and I hadn’t managed to do anything apart from sort the girls out.

When my Mum and Sister arrived, Aurora finally calmed down for a little while. I managed to put my wash on with Kiiara glued to my hip. We were about to leave, when all of a sudden, being a typical baby Kiiara decided to have a last minute poo. Just my luck. In just under 2 hours we had to pick Faith and Wyatt up from school and I wasn’t getting anywhere fast.

I managed to get my bits and bobs done and was making my way home. Auroras mood changed again. She become majorly stroppy and wouldn’t have any of it. She screamed and threw herself on the floor. We were in the flat at this point. Kiiara was flat out. I wasn’t sure how long for with Aurora bellowing like a banshee. I remained calm, took her into the front room while she was flailing around, lay her on the sofa, put ‘Waffle the Wonder Dog’ on and got her a milk hoping she would get sleepy and wake up in a happier mood. That was wishful thinking. She wasn’t having any of it and she woke Kiiara up. It was Kiiara’s turn to scream.

I didn’t know where the time went. All i’d done was the washing from that morning and it was already time to collect the children from school. Aurora was still screaming wanting to get out of her pram this time. Wyatt came out of school crying at me because I said he had to wait for the money off the tooth fairy until we got down to the stall that he wanted to spend it at.

He began to cry so I had 3 grumpy crying children on my hands all at the same time. Breath Zoe breath. Last but not least Faith appeared but she seemed in an OK mood. Off we went to get candy floss!

Oh no things didn’t go too smoothly after all. Faith decided she didn’t want candy floss but sweets instead. I was in a rush so I didn’t have time to pop into any other shops. She told the lady who was selling the candy floss that she didn’t actually want any but ‘Mum’ was making her get it. The lady just looked at me. I had to remind Faith not to be rude.

She then stropped all the way home while seemingly enjoying the candy floss she ‘didn’t’ want. But obviously what consequences comes with sugary snacks? I will tell you…. Hyperactivity as soon as we set foot into the flat. They became hyperactive and wasn’t listening to a word I said no matter how many times I repeated myself – they were bouncing off the walls. I was overrun by 4 children, 3 of which were on a sugar high!

I ended up yelling at them to calm down because somebody was going to get hurt.

1…. 2….. 3…..

Right on queue all 3 of them bumped into each other and Aurora being the smallest got hurt the most and ended up screaming again. It was only 4pm and I was praying for bedtime already.

Within the next hour I became a broken record having to repeat myself over and over again to either calm down or stop doing something they shouldn’t be doing. They calmed down, well 2 out of 3 anyway.

It was Wyatt’s turn to keep pushing my buttons. He kept throwing things around the living room while looking at me and smiling. I told him that he needed to listen to me, and because of his behaviour he had lost his pudding for that night. He turned around and shouted at me giving me attitude. I know it’s part of his Autism but I still don’t appreciate him shouting at me like he does.

I warned him that he shouldn’t speak to me the way he did because you should never shout at your Mum and Dad for that matter. He still ended up yelling at me again and sniggering. I was not amused to say the least.

It was slowly creeping up to bed time. All 4 children had been bathed. It was just a little hard to get them to stay in their rooms. It’s either one or the other that decide they either want a drink, the toilet, to tell us a story or to just ask a random question they could of asked earlier.

I must admit after how yesterday was, I was glad to just crawl into bed, cuddle Kiiara and relax – well as much as you can when you’re a parent anyhow.

Some days I find harder than others and lately I haven’t really had that many bad days where the children have driven me crazy, so I guess I was just overdue one.

Joys of children ayy. Definitely worth it but they also make you age much quicker. I can see the grey hairs emerging already.


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Mummy Confessions: Entry 8

Diary entry No. 8 of a stressed-out mum dealing with 4 kids. What it’s like and how it feels to deal with them all at once!

Where do I start….

Yesterday was bloody stressful. I felt completely overwhelmed with it all. You’d think I would be used to it by now with raising 4 children and becoming a Mum at 18 years old, but I just couldn’t hack the stress.

I got up early to attempt to tidy some of the house before the children woke up, but as soon as I took a foot downstairs right on cue every morning, Aurora screamed as if somebody was murdering her.

I quickly jumped in the shower, then ran upstairs to get her out of her cot so she could play in her room before she woke the rest of the house and the neighbours up.

I ran around cleaning up the kitchen, bringing up the washing and waking Faith and Wyatt up to get ready for school. Even though I got up earlier, I still had a million and one jobs to do when I returned home. It turned out Aurora was a bit sick in her cot earlier that morning, so I had to change her bedding.

From the moment I got up I felt completely exhausted and to top it off I had one of those annoying headaches that just wouldn’t budge.

I’ve come up with a new technique so I can get the housework done whilst looking after the youngest two. You see it might sound easy but Kiiara is a very clingy baby and doesn’t like to be put down for too long. And well with Aurora being nearly 2 years old, she doesn’t leave her sister alone when she’s in her bouncer – I’m a worry wart leaving them alone together without myself in the room just in case there’s an accident.

So this new technique involves the pram. I put Kiiara in her pram and push her round the flat with me so I can get things done. I know things will get easier when she’s older but for now it’s something I have to do – as long as she sees me, she’s quite happy.

I think I might need to invest in a baby carrier. It might make it easier than lugging the pram around the flat.

Job One Done but still I felt overwhelmed with everything. Aurora turned into a demonic toddler by the afternoon (where’s the holy water when you need it?). I could have screamed! It was nearly time to pick the children up and it felt like I hadn’t done anything that I wanted to all day.

I could have quite happily gone back to bed and re-start the day again.

After getting the children home from school I lugged bin bags down the stairs, which then one ended up splitting and goo fell down my leg. Could this day get any worse? I returned to hear Kiiara screaming in her pram. She was asleep but Aurora woke her up.

Faith and Wyatt were both talking at me asking for crisps and also bickering with each other. All I wanted was a God damn coffee at the time!

It turned 5pm and I had to put the tea on. I chose to go with a pasta dish because… well it was quick and easy, the oldest two needed a shower and Aurora needed a bath too.

I sent Wyatt first which he then moaned at me because he wanted to finish watching a film with Faith. I managed to get him to move his butt after 5 to 10 minutes of constant nagging over and over (Why don’t they listen the first time!?).

I went to check on the tea whilst he was having a wash. I shouted

“Have you washed your hair?”

He replied,


I went to check to find his hair was still dry (A dry wash? I don’t think so!). This happens every night where I have to do his hair because he refuses to do it despite attempting to convince me he has.

Kiiara was beginning to get restless in my arm’s, Aurora was being cranky because she was overtired, and I had everything else to sort out. At least Faith is at the age where she will go in the shower herself and not need Mummys’ help. She just takes the longest to get out. Girls ayy!

It hit around 6pm and I managed to get the children sorted. They had their tea, brushed their teeth, got into their pjs and I can blatantly say I was eager to get them all to bed.

I still had all the dishes to wash, the washing to sort out, and get the kids to bed. Kiiara was not a happy bunny as she was overtired and ended up screaming. My ears certainly take a beating with the youngest two screaming a lot of the time!

I decided there and then that these kids of mine were going to bed early because this Mama couldn’t take anymore! I needed a break and some sleep. I was asleep by 8pm and to be honest I don’t feel guilty one-little-bit. Being a stay-at-home Mum is hard sometimes!

I still feel a little cranky today and still have the annoying lingering headache, but I’m hoping today will be a little easier than yesterday. If not, then I’ve always got a glass of wine to enjoy!


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Mummy Confessions: Entry 7

Diary entry No. 7 of a stressed-out mum dealing with 4 kids. What it’s like and how it feels to deal with them all at once!

I was woken by Liam watching a film trailer on his phone this morning.

“What time is it?”

He replied,

“20 past 7”

I must of not heard the alarm go off. I jumped out of bed snapping at Liam as I got up.

“Why didn’t you wake me!?”

I made my way down stairs to make a much-needed coffee. I felt completely exhausted this morning but I’m trying to start some kind of ‘new’ routine to make it easier for us as a family to get things done and much more organised.

Everything still feels up in the air. There doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day especially since we were out most of the day yesterday – from food shopping, to the school run and a trip back to the doctors as well.

The good news though is that I’ve managed to get my contraception that I’m currently on (Desomono) – well the prescription anyway. Apparently most chemist’s don’t seem to stock it and has to be ordered in.

We had to pop back to the doctors this morning too because Kiiara had to have her immunisations. They are much needed as she’s late for them. I hate the fact needles inflict pain on her – it makes me an emotional wreck seeing her tear up and weep after having been jabbed by one! Lots of extra cuddles will be needed!

If I’m honest I’m feeling a little down in the dumps today. I think it’s because I haven’t been sleeping properly lately.

I feel quite selfish just wanting an hour of my own company, just myself to relax and try to get myself out of this grumpy mood.

I feel emotionally and mentally drained at the moment, like everything’s getting on top of me. I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way with tiny humans and a partner to keep occupied and take care of, but I’m only human and I’m guessing some parents probably feel the same way sometimes too.

It’s difficult to try and keep everybody happy sometimes. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s impossible to do. I’ve either annoyed my partner, the toddler is being a grumpy moo, or i’m the ‘worst mum in the world’ with the other two because I sent Faith into school when she didn’t want to go in, or I said “no” to the only little man in the house.

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual and I’ve seen all the children’s programs where parents are always smiling – never shouting and their children are like ‘little angels’ who never misbehave.

Ideal family life, right. But come on, that’s not reality!

Us parents lose our shit! The children can sometimes turn demonic without any warning and we can all get exhausted and just want abit of adult time to be ourselves, or perhaps to simply take a nap.

I’m not ashamed that I have days like these but I do feel guilty sometimes thinking how I should be doing this – perhaps needing to try and change myself, and envision the perfect mother that you see on the TV programs.

Feeling this way can knock your confidence as a parent, human being and somebody’s partner.

I love my family, there’s no doubt in that, but somedays are harder than others and I do struggle occasionally. I’ve realised it’s OK to feel like this sometimes –  we are all doing the best for our children and we won’t give up even on the bad days. They are worth it after all!

Days can get better and it won’t feel like this forever. They will fly the nest one day and we will miss the noise and chaos of them all.

Love a tired, grumpy Mama.


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Mummy Confessions: Entry 6

Diary entry No. 6 of a stressed-out mum dealing with 4 kids. What it’s like and how it feels to deal with them all at once!

As you may know the children returned back from their Dads on Tuesday. We took a walk to collect them. I was full of excitement to see them. It had been a while and even though I spoke to them on the phone the day before, it just wasn’t the same.

I rang the buzzer, and shortly after Faith was the first one to the door. She ran and jumped on me. It was a nice surprise being as she’s more of a Daddy’s girl usually. I was expecting her to dive onto Liam first before she even acknowledges me –  that’s how it usually goes anyway.

Wyatt was the second one out the door. Wyatt being ‘Wyatt’ just said “Hi Mum” and presented me with his toy ball. I had to pull him into an embrace. He looked at me as if I was crazy. Typical boy aye.

When we arrived back home, Faith was a little upset because there’s was a lot of stairs leading up to our place, and because everybody had to go up first and I was left at the bottom with Kiiara in the pram, she thought they had to leave me behind. It then started Aurora off (I must be loved after all!).

The children were excited to see the new place and their rooms of course. Wyatt got stuck right in with unpacking his toys and sorting out his bedroom just the way he wanted it. He was so proud of himself when he’d finished and got us all to come and have a look too.

Faith on the other hand was completely different. I’ve never known such a messy little moo. She unpacked her boxes then got bored. She ummed and arred and said “I’ll sort it out later”.

She would much rather watch a DVD and scoff her face with chocolate Easter eggs. (Which of course she had to share with Mummy – she did not like that at all).

Even though I’ve got so much more to do since they’ve returned, I must admit I felt a sense of fulfilment, like we could be happy here. I was glad to have them back where they belong – with me.

The washing has certainly increased though. There was less when they weren’t here. Joys of being a Mum – the work is never done!

I also feel like their behaviour isn’t as bad as it was in Liverpool, but we will see on that one – I’ve only had them back a few days. According to their Dad, Wyatt has been the trouble maker whilst they were at his, but he’s been good as gold here.

Don’t get me wrong he woke up really early this morning and is still quite grumpy because of it, but other than that there hasn’t been any major problems. Faith’s still got her ‘sassy’ attitude but i’ve come to the conclusion that that’s just her age.

My Mum also pointed out that I was exactly the same at her age. I honestly can’t see it myself – I was so well behaved as a child!

They will be starting school next week so I’m sure they will be happy to be back with their old friends and their cousins too.

Aurora seems to be happy having her brother and sister back especially when there is mischief to be had.

It Didn’t Last


Their behaviour that is.

I have found myself screaming like a crazy banshee at Faith and Wyatt. They haven’t listened to a word I’ve said all day and have trashed our place knowing we still have so much more unpacking to do.

It looks like they have brought their behaviour back with them from Liverpool. I am so stressed out today – My head is banging and I could quite happily lock the older two under the stairs (I think I may have watched too much Harry Potter).

I just need to remember to breath and not to self-combust. Tomorrow may be a better day but all I’m waiting for is bed time just so I can curl up and read my new book.

I know as every night I sit and get Mum guilt thinking I’m too hard on them, but if I’m honest that Mum guilt can f**k off. I’m trying not to raise assholes and right now today that is exactly what they have been!

I know most of it is because they have been with their Dad and I know he’s a bit of a push over when parenting the children, so this mama bear needs to be stern and get her kiddies back to the well-behaved, less asshole-like kids even if that means I’ll be classed as a ‘raging crazy Mummy’.

I may be pulling my hair out by the end of the week but hopefully I can find my feet in this place and start up a routine again to deal with the 4 crazy kiddies, because at the moment this Mummy is so out-of-whack.


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Mummy Confessions: Entry 5

Diary entry of a stressed-out mum dealing with 4 kids. What it’s like and how it feels to deal with them all at once!

It was the weekend again and I woke up on Saturday morning with the feeling of dread (cue Mum guilt). I just couldn’t bring myself to Mummy that day.

The children woke up around 6am and I knew it wouldn’t have been long before the bickering started.

I was right. It took about 10 minutes before I heard Faith screaming at her brother and then all hell broke loose.

Aurora crying, Faith and Wyatt physically fighting each other, and then I heard them run downstairs to help themselves to food out the fridge. They even brought some up for Aurora.

The atmosphere changed between them within minutes from fighting to happily munching on yogurts. I went to make my morning coffee and my much-needed cigarette to get me through the day.

After getting myself and all the children sorted (I painted my nails just to make myself feel that little bit more like myself), I went downstairs to make breakfast. Faith and Wyatt wanted porridge but that wasn’t a problem because Aurora likes porridge too.

No fussy eaters this morning, woo! That’s one hurdle I didn’t have to cross this morning. They sat at the table and munched away. I thought I’d treat myself this morning and make eggs and soldiers – I haven’t had them for years so I thought why not.

I didn’t think this would cause such a rumpus. Faith came running in.

‘Ooo, Mum can I have your eggs?’

‘Nope it’s my breakfast. You’ve just had porridge.’

Considering Faith is 8 in June, I wasn’t expecting a major meltdown after I said ‘No’, but she certainly had one.

She threw her weight around bellowing that it was unfair, and that I should have given her the eggs and just had cereal myself instead.

I must admit this girl is definitely hard work at the moment. Is this normal for her age? I’m really starting to wonder.

It was 20 past 1 in the afternoon and I hadn’t got much done at all. I felt like all I had been doing was yelling at my oldest daughter. It’s exhausting, and it’s not something I want to be doing all the time, but what’s a mum to do?

I found myself repeating instructions and she didn’t listen to a word of it until I’m screaming like a crazy person. She’s impatient, doesn’t do as she’s told and extremely horrible to her younger brother at times. Don’t get me started with her answering back. I honestly feel like I’m raising a teenager. I feel emotionally drained I want the old Faith back.

Wyatt, besides the full-on fight they had that morning, has been as good as gold and had been keeping his little sister occupied running up and down the kitchen pushing her toy trolley with Aurora following behind with her pram. I love seeing the bond between those two – it’s a lovely sight to see.

Parenting can be so hard sometimes. I must admit days like those are a struggle. I had even felt like hiding away and getting lost in a book, but what kind of Mum would that make me?

I’m not ashamed about how I feel sometimes, because after all I’m only human and kids can be very demanding, goby and not always behaved. I don’t for one second regret having them because they’re my world, even though sometimes I could quite happily knock them out (not literally of course).

As it was Mother’s day the following day, I had hoped it would have been a better day and perhaps I could have had a lie in (laughing hysterically – didn’t expect it for one moment), or at least been given the excuse to scoff some chocolate first thing in the morning.

Mother’s Day

It’s was Mothering Sunday and that lovely lie in was amazing (ha I fooled you!). I didn’t actually get one. Instead again right on cue they woke up at 6am.

Faith burst in whilst it was still early with a card she made me from school and a picture that she drew. She came over to give me a cuddle and said she had a surprise for me downstairs. I prised myself out of bed and she took my hand.

A surprise it was! She made me some cereal in her bowl and wait for it….

….a glass of wine at 7am in the morning. I laughed

‘Thank you but Mummy doesn’t drink wine first thing in the morning.’

(What kind of person does she think I am?)

She then asked whether I could sort out her breakfast. I gave her mine instead as I couldn’t stomach anything that early in the morning. I returned upstairs to find a present Liam got for me from the kids – Chocolate and Fudge, Yummy!

I was naughty and ate a few there an then. Funny how I can’t stomach food first thing but if you give me chocolate, that’s a different story.

Later that day Wyatt and Faiths behaviour became out of control and I couldn’t believe how naughty they were being, especially on Mother’s day. I had enough already! I hate shouting at my kids but when I went upstairs, I was gobsmacked to see how much they destroyed their bedrooms. Enough was enough! This behaviour had to change.

I went downstairs to have a very stern word with them. I explained that this wasn’t the way to behave. I had an entire speech spout from my mouth, but to be honest I didn’t know where it came from. This Mama was determined to nip this in the bud.

I think it had actually worked. They both were teary eyed and upset. They even apologised. Faith admitted to me that she plays up purposely just to wind me up. At least she was honest. I’m hoping they have both finally turned a corner.

I know they’ll have their moments as all kids do but they aren’t bad children and just need to be reminded now and again of that.

We are going to have a takeaway tonight and a bit of family fun to make up for last weekend’s antics.


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Mummy Confessions: Entry 4

Diary entry of a stressed-out mum dealing with 4 kids. What it’s like and how it feels to deal with them all at once!

Since the children have been at their Dads it has been much quieter and I haven’t had to shout for the most part of a few days now (bonus!), but to be honest I haven’t actually been myself lately.

It seems to be stress after stress. I do feel very blessed having such a big family but I’ve been finding things very difficult. Since moving to Liverpool I’ve realised how home sick I actually am. I miss my family and friends, and frankly it’s been getting me down.

I feel like I haven’t exactly been the best Mum I could be either.

Needing A Time Out

Lately I’ve just needed some time on my own to reflect and evaluate my circumstances, but I feel guilty in doing so because I have housework to do, a toddler to entertain and a partner to talk to, so my reflection time hinders.

I try to cultivate a smile and get on with things – that’s what you have to do when you have so many people who rely on you. I’m not usually mopey or down-in-the-dumps, but I’m finding it really hard to snap out of it (I do wonder where the ‘happy-go-lucky’ Zoe has gone). I want to be my old self again!

No MORE Added Stress

Yesterday wasn’t ideal. What could possibly go wrong? 

Well where do I start? The internet went down yet again, so another engineer is to be called out – the 4th one since I’ve moved here might I add. Then me and my partner thought as it was Valentines Day, we’d order a Chinese takeaway in. Nice concept and rather simple. Surely nothing could go wrong…

We didn’t eat it, it was foul! I chose my favourite takeout food, the sweet and sour chicken, but it honestly tasted just like pure vinegar (too sour than sweet). Wasted food = Wasted money. As you can imagine it didn’t contribute well to the mood I was in already.

For dessert we were to order in but from a dessert takeaway app to make us feel better (chocolate certainly cheers me up). As I downloaded the app, chose what to have and proceeded to pay, we were then told that they do not deliver to our postcode – we were literally one postcode out!

I felt like screaming – they were depriving me of my chocolate! Valentines day was clearly not going the way I wanted it to.

We thought there’s no way it could get any worse…

Well of course it did! The electric tripped. We wondered what had caused it. The one thing I use and rely on with 4 kids to dry their clothes – the bloody drier! Computer said No, nata, adiós, boom kaput! 

I began thinking perhaps we were cursed – someone had put a curse on us and hasn’t owned up. Hmmm… Either way it was certainly not our day.

My hope is that when we move back, things will brighten up because ever since we’ve been here everything has gone ‘tits up’ so-to-speak. Hopefully things will be better for the rest of the week. A girl needs a bit of luck, or if not, sex would be a nice alternative (can’t even have that at the moment, grrrrr).

However, there is one thing that I’m looking forward to this week. My BEST FRIEND is visiting me! (the last time I had seen her was at my Dads funeral) She is completely bonkers so I know my missing smile will return for atleast that one day.

I feel awful writing this, but in my opinion you need to be a happy Mummy to have happy children. I think perhaps working on myself to get myself back-on-track, and to return back home would certainly boost my optimism. Only 3 weeks left to go before I can escape this abhorrent region, woohoo!


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Mummy Confessions: Entry 3

Diary entry of a stressed-out mum dealing with 4 kids. What it’s like and how it feels to deal with them all at once!

Being a Mum of 4 can be hectic most of the time, but last week smoke could have literally (not literally of course – don’t think that’s even a medical condition) been coming out from my ears after how trying it was.

Monday was a normal day. I got the kids ready for school, got home and sorted Aurora and Kiiara out. It was quite a laid-back day (which was unusual in this household). I went to collect the kids after school and that’s when all the drama began.

The moment I picked them up they were arguing, then developed into a full-on fight between them.

‘Mummy, Faith hit me’

‘No, Wyatt hit me first’

This happens on a daily basis between these two (i’m considering changing my name – the kids call ‘Mummy’ far too often).

I managed to calm them down after warning them to stop and stay away from each other. They went upstairs to play nicely, or so I thought….

Within 10 minutes they were at it again! (the ceiling shuddering as if a bomb went off near-by).

Why couldn’t they both just get along?

Both running downstairs yelling at me all at once with individual accounts of what had just happened. I felt like my head was going to explode. BOOOOOOOOM! 

Things only got worse through the rest of the week. Faith and Wyatt both lost Dojo points (more info about Dojo points here) and fell to -7 (this has NEVER happened before).

They sneakily brought up confiscated play-sand to Faiths bedroom, and just before bedtime they decided to play with it. I already said ‘No’ but obviously they didn’t want to listen. I don’t mind them having a bit of fun, but it was just before bedtime and I already had them showered.

Despite going against my word from the start, they also didn’t exactly play nicely with it either. Sand-rain I could probably call it! In the air and all over the bedroom!

Auroras cot, Faiths bed, and everywhere in-between. I wasn’t amused to say the least and all I got back from them was

‘It wasn’t me’ (I’m guessing they wished for me to believe it was the Sandman)

I love my babies very much, but they test me patience quite regularly. Faith seems to act like a teenager – does anybody else have this problem with a 7 year old? 

If she doesn’t get her own way she will literally have a meltdown – slamming doors, and answering me and my partner back with attitude (she must be a genius because she has an answer for everything!)

Some days are really hard. I love being a Mum but sometimes I would just like to have one day where there are no arguments, shouting and generally just a stress-free day (wishful thinking, but hey I keep hoping). I’ve found that ever since those kids have started their new school they have been acting up (coincidence?). Not sure why, but I hope it’s only temporary.

This week

The children have been trying to earn their Dojos this week by helping out and attempting to get along. So far so good (they REALLY want their tablet time back) but Faith continues to show that she can be a madam – hasn’t really earned many points because of this.

I went to parents evening yesterday. The kids both seem to be doing well – I’m very pleased with them. Speaking to Wyatt’s teacher about how he is at home as apposed to how he is at school and whether they have noticed anything about him – they looked at me like I was crazy (he’s not the same as he is at home).

What!? Surely he can’t change into a completely different child…..

Well I took him with me to Faiths parents evening (were on at separate times) and to my surprise, he sat there quietly without saying a word and was completely shy. This was NOT Wyatt! He was skipping down the road repeating the same word over and over again just 5 minutes before! (I can understand now why they thought I was crazy)

Faiths parents evening went okay but the teacher mentioned Faiths meltdowns and tantrums in class if she doesn’t get her own way (sounds familiar as to how she is at home). I’m beginning to think it may be due to her age perhaps.

7 going on 17 – it sure feels like that sometimes.

Faith has said some horrible things to me in the past week, but its all part of parenting (i’m her Mum, not necessarily her friend). She may think i’m a ‘Meanie’ but she will be grateful in the long run, and besides I’ve been there before and know all her little tricks (where do you think she got it all from?)

Being a Mum is definitely hard work and it’s not always fun and games. It’s screaming, crying, the meltdowns, the stress of it all, but its all worth it in the end. I heard a saying once

‘If your kid says that they hate you atleast once in your life, you know you’re doing something right’

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Mummy Confessions: Entry 2

Diary entry of a stressed-out mum dealing with 4 kids. What it’s like and how it feels to deal with them all at once!

Morning! If that’s what you can call it. It’s dark outside and absolutely freezing, and as I lie in bed I think ‘f@ck, is it that time already!?‘.

I run down the stairs to put the heating on, make a coffee and do the kids cereal. It’s a good job I put the kids uniforms in their rooms ready for the morning because it’s 5 past 8 already!

I’m in a mad rush waking all the kids up. Wyatt decided he wanted to talk to me about minions so I listened as much as I could. Kiiara woke for a feed, all while Aurora bellowed ‘mummy!‘. It’s already quarter past 8 and I’m not sorted yet…..

I get myself and the youngest two ready, then it’s a mad dash out the door to get the other two to school in 5 minutes just before they close the gates. I even forgot their snack money again. Baby brain maybe, could I use that excuse again do you think?

Sometimes I think I need to do more, perhaps get up earlier, be more organised but as I sit and ponder this I realise there is 4 little humans who need so many different things all at the same time and there’s only one of me and despite feeling overloaded with everything I need to do, I know it will get easier.

Being a mum of 4 is the best feeling ever but it is also very hard work. I’m already thinking about what the children are going to be like when they get home from school – arguments again maybe?

The dreaded school run….

I went to get the kids and so far no arguments on the way home, just the evil look off Wyatt again – I really don’t know what has gotten into him lately. I’m the ‘nasty mummy‘ in his eyes i’m guessing.

Wyatt can be a handful sometimes but that’s just Wyatt for you. He’s a lovely little boy and I love him very much, but his learning difficulties do make it hard sometimes.

He gets frustrated a lot because of his speech and i’m not always able to understand what he says. Faith torments him quite often so he lashes out and never takes responsibility for his actions – he always aims the blame to his siblings, but hey isn’t that part of being the only boy in the bunch?

No matter how hard it gets he’s also a very loving little man who’s a little crazy and has his own unique little personality. To be honest I couldn’t be prouder of him and how much he’s achieved at school with his reading and writing, and progressing with his speech.

It’s started again – the bickering. They really can’t get along. Wyatt plays blocks with Aurora, whilst Faith is on her tablet calling Wyatt every name under-the-sun. I don’t like when she bullies him, it’s not his fault.

I take a deep breath and tell them to stop arguing, but it doesn’t last 5 minutes before they are at it again. The joys of motherhood!

Take me back to the days where they got along, but when was that? I can’t remember. I think that baby brain is creeping back again.

There is not one day that it’s not hectic but by-God it’s worth it! With every little smile, laugh and ‘love you mum‘, I know that I’m obviously doing something right.


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Mummy Confessions: Entry 1

Diary entry of a stressed-out mum dealing with 4 kids. What it’s like and how it feels to deal with them all at once!

I did it, I did it! I managed to do the housework. Might not seem like much of an achievement but with a moody toddler at home and having to be a milk machine, rushing about between laying Kiiara down and making a dash to do the dishes, it certainly feels like one! I run around like a headless chicken waiting for a whimper from the little human we created whilst having a toddler glued to my hip.

Don’t get me started on getting to the loo. Now that is a big achievement! Might even be the only time I get 5 minutes to myself, well that’s if Faith and Wyatt aren’t at home shouting ‘Mum!‘ every 2 minutes or fighting with each other over the tiniest of things.

I feel sorry for the neighbours the amount of times I have shouted today. Could be a new world record. Imagine that, they’ve only got home 2 hours ago!

From the moment I picked them up from school, Wyatt came out grumpy pulling the “you’re the worst-mum-ever” face because I forgot to bring his toy dog to school, Faith decided she wanted to wind him up about being grumpy, and there’s me sounding like a crazy lady shouting down the street having 3 of the kids with me (my partner was looking after the other one).

When I got home it’s all fun and games – they have been winding each other up, fighting, and then Aurora started with her tantrums all before Kiki wanted me as a milk machine again. It’s a never-ending cycle. I feel like I have to divide myself into 3 or 4 other people just to deal with each kid separately. Am I the only person who feels like this?

I put the kettle on ready for a brew to calm my nerves, take a deep breathe and deal with the kids.

We will see what tomorrow brings. As I write this I have all 3 kids talking at me and it’s not even bath time yet – now that gets hectic but I will leave that for another day! I love the kids to bits, I really do. It’s just hard work with 4 and trying to juggle between them all at once.

I may be hiding in a cupboard somewhere scoffing chocolate by the end of the night or rocking in a corner getting ready to do it all over again tomorrow!


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– Zoe